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How my childhood Phimosis escalated to abuse

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How my childhood Phimosis escalated to abuse

Postby xoedipalx » Thu Oct 24, 2024 7:39 am

***Trigger Warning***

I think it started when I was 6 or 7, I had irritation on my foreskin which i guess was made worse due to my poor hygiene habits. Since I was uncircumcised, i had trouble retracting my foreskin which made matters worse and caused me lot of pain while urinating. I showed it to my mother who did the worse thing possible. she tried to forcefully retract the foreskin which caused too much pain and gave me an erection. it was the first time I experienced something like it and though it was painful it also gave me an weird excitement. I think she asked her friends about it and their advice was to try to retract the foreskin herself or to get myself circumcised in a hospital. she took it upon herself to diagnose me and honestly i think it was an exciting ritual for her to give me an erection. Every time I went to urinate she came to the bathroom with me where she tried to retract the skin and give me an erection. And one day she pulled it too fast causing me immense pain and I broke down crying. she tried to console me but to no avail. she kissed me on the pe**s and said sorry. I was taken aback and stopped crying. And it was all downhill from there. I intentionally went to her like a hypnotized prey and expected her to give attention down there. If I was not satisfied, I am ashamed to say it I literally asked her to kiss me down there. she began giving me oral and I genuinely believed it took my pain away. After few months of this, she fully retracted it but she found another reason for continuing her diagnosis. I got smegma build up around my penis head and she said I need to clean it often. As usual I went up to her for help and for another few weeks she was pleasuring me while "cleaning". It all came to an end when my father caught us with my pants down in a semi aroused state and she was able to convince him she was helping with my pain. She never did it again and continued to act like nothing happened. After I became adult, I did confront her but she was adamant that it wasn't abuse and that I was imagining things.
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