Uncertainty and doubts about the past and future...

I have been looking back at the things that went wrong in my relationships and I know sometimes it was my fault and other times it was something that the other person did.

In a couple of my relationships people have completely shut me out and it has really hurt and surprised me, especially when they were close good friends beforehand. I know that I have OCPD, but I am wondering if there is other things impacting me as well as for some reason I can't seem to find and develop lasting intimate relationships. In the last 10 years my longest relationship was 3 months, and the other party hasn't spoken to me since we broke up. In fact, I think they still have me blocked on social media.

Most recently I had a good friend who is no longer talking to me, and we were talking every day for months on end about a wide array of things. I do know that my mental health took a sudden and horrible turn about a month and a half ago. Unfortunately, during this time my friend was my only rock and I think my problems became too much for them to deal with, so they had to walk away for their own mental health and good.