need help to evaluate my relationship

Hi,

I have been for one year in a relationship and for some times wonder if my partner has NPD.
Why?

Heres why:
- often looks in the mirror (window behind me) when talking to me, seems to struggle to regulate this
- obsesseses with the beauty of her bum, she was shamed a lot as teenager
- sometimes makes remarks that are supposed to be funny where she jokes about something stupid that I made. Its pure invention, i never did those things but she thinks its funny to say these things
When I return the same joke she doesnt like it (not blowing up though)
- sometimes when she doesnt get her way (trip to a place she likes) she gets intense emotions. I can be quite strict and live the emotion with her while not feeling attacked personally. It takes a short time for her to do "internal work" and then the emotions are vanished in a second
- she hates my secrecy. sometimes she asks what my plans are, sometimes I don´t say it and it was a big problem. Now she "returns the favour" only to find that I don´t mind her not telling me
- family history of narcissism, both in hers and in mine
- mother knows no boundaries, talks whenever she wants without consideration of the other person
- used to be somewhat of a bully in childhood
- major trauma from childhood when taken away from family into care home
- had to look after parents as a kid
- trouble making intimate connections with friends
- difficulty understanding that to make friends you have to be nice to other people
- sometimes lack of respect/being courteous to waiter staff etc. not rude but also not very nice
- very very affectionate
- sometimes I feel she treats my like a mum treats her baby ("look at him how happy he is when i cuddle him" etc)
- cannot take criticism well
- sometimes changes what she said (one time she explained how she cheated, next time she didn´t really mean it)
- difficulty admitting fault (question in a card game: "Can you easily admit when you are at fault?" Answer: "Well I don´t like it when someone is questioning me in an attempt to find the guilty person.Why do you look for the guilty one?")
- difficulty giving away who she is, very secretive. When asked, she says she doesn´t want to be judged
- doesn´t like to give away what her plans are because someone could say they are bad plans and then she doesn´t follow them.
- seems entitled ("of course my employer pays for my home office PC and furniture only best stuff etc")
- trouble saying "I love you"

I for myself am:
- too nice (recovering nice guy)
- find it difficult to express my needs
- have difficulties keeping my frame, easily drop my frame
- sometimes freeze inside/cannot lead conversation well
- NPD mum
- she exhibits very much child like behavior which trigger deep emotions in me, also sadness/loss feelings
- sometimes feel very bad for myself
- have trouble even noticing when my boundaries are crossed

I got a lot stronger but am sure there is a lot in me that is very weak. I might also sometimes show NPD traits. She is quite reflective or herself and we both do a lot of personal development.

Can you give some advice from an outside?
How would you act in this scenario?

She mentioned living together and we both have plans for family and kids. I said its too early to live together, maybe also bc I am afraid of finding out she has NPD.