Tired of being told I have to make effort to gain love

Note: this is a rant. If I sound harsh or rude or whatever you like to think of me, then I sincerely apologize. NO ADVICE NEEDED. Period.

I’m so sick and tired of being told that whatever I experience is fully my responsibility. I cannot control the situations around me, no matter how much they encourage me. They expect me to change yet will still go their way to judging others for what they experience. I’m tired of people saying that empathy is overrated and does nothing but harm. If I ask for support, idiots will try to walk around me and claim that I am being controlling, when that is a complete lie!

They ask me to do something about my problems yet when I try to help them, they will act self righteous and yell at me for being controlling. They will tell me “eff your feelings! Do you not care about everyone else?!”. Excuse me how the eff was I being controlling when you’re trying to change me but can’t stand it when I try to help you? And even if I change, it’s not good enough for you. You’re offended that I am suffering mentally and you believe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill when you are too ignorant to realize my mental health struggles is not a choice. If people have no empathy, we’d all be sociopaths, nuff said!

I’m so tired of people undermining my experiences and dehumanizing me when I am valid as a person and just want to be respected unconditionally. But of course, they think everything has to be conditional and I have to work my ass off to gain their trust and approval, which is BS. They expect me to act like the little red hen and cater to them while they can lay on their lazy asses and act like prima donnas and push me around.

No, I’m not buying it. Depression is not a choice. Suffering and being vulnerable to a hardship is not a choice. I do not make the decision to suffer and engage. If you have a problem with my sensitivity, then I’d like to tell you something: you accuse me of something you are and when I try to help you, you’re never satisfied, and still expect me to change entirely in a matter of thirty seconds all while you hardly change at all. If you simply cannot respect someone just because you don’t understand them, then that’s your problem. You need to stop focusing on their actions and instead focus for what they feel: vulnerable.

Telling someone to change themselves for something that is not a choice is downright mental health shaming and is disrespectful to their well being. I don’t need to give anyone conditions to let you know what I’m feeling and experiencing is valid. And you dare argue with me that I’m the one with the problem even though I try to be nice to you, it’s never enough for you. You expect me to pamper you all while you can simply just toss me around like a crumpled wad of paper.

Don’t you dare tell me to reflect upon myself when you won’t even do the same! If I want support, that’s what I want. If you are too full of yourself to actually consider how someone who is talking to you is deeply suffering , then that’s on you.