I’m 26 years old. I work with computer graphics, also at the moment study a new discipline, I also do sports, learning psychology and generally try to study it, I think it will be useful to me. I work a lot at the computer and generally spend almost all my time on the computer or phone. Of course, this does not affect me very well. Sedentary lifestyle, incorrect posture, blue light from the screens. I have health problems, recently it turned out that I have the initial stage of neck osteochondrosis, the pressure is constantly increasing, the neck muscles are tense and stiff, there are problems with the vertebral artery. And I also recently found out that I have a mitral valve prolapse in my heart. It beats strongly and this sometimes causes me anxiety and strange unpleasant sensations. I have some problems with my eyes also.
For several years now, I have been experiencing symptoms that appear one after another. Also, after some physiological symptoms and severe stress, I began to have problems in society. I didn't have such problems before, but then they started to appear.
What I feel all the time:
⁃ Face muscle tension. I poorly feel my face, losing muscle control. My face is like stone. Sometimes I clearly feel like some of my face muscles tense and stuck in a certain position. Every time that I close my eyes to fall asleep it feels like I put to much strength to do this. I feel too much tension. When I realize this, I try to relax them a little. Then I forget about it and they automatically tense up. They are always in this state of tension, when closed. I also feel like numbness in the forehead area. The same unconscious tension Other facial muscles are in a similar condition, but it feels best in the forehead area. The same unconscious tension arises in my jaw muscles. When I'm not watching it, the muscles are very tense, the jaws are clenched, the teeth are clenched. Then I seem to realize this and realize that this is not normal, I try to relax, then I forget about it again and the muscles are always in this state
⁃ Eyes problems. Blurred vision, double vision, pain and burning, blepharospasm. Eye muscle tension. Also, when I try to concentrate on some information, my eyes can relax, as if you are looking into the void. For example, when I read, I can stare at a word for a long time and as if I don't see the letters, it's very strange.
⁃ Problems with concentration, memory, consciousness. I also have a strange feeling. It's as if my visual perception of the world has changed. It's like I can only see and process information from a small area in front of me. It's like I can't take in the whole picture. For example, when I'm on the street, I look around site by site, and my brain seems to be trying to process everything in turn. It feels like my ability to be aware has deteriorated dramatically, as has my ability to think.
⁃ It also concerns my perception of the world and myself. Sometimes it's like I don't have enough resources to be aware of everything that's going on. It feels like I have a slight fog in my head, I can't think, I can't understand how I feel at the moment, I can't realize the world around me, fully feel the reality surrounding me. If we compare it with how I felt and realized before, then this is a very significant difference. The world seemed to have become black and white, or rather my feelings from it. I have to live in such a state, work, deal with myself, my usual things and self-development, but I understand that this is wrong. I shouldn't feel like this. But unfortunately I can't figure out what's wrong with me. I am constantly looking for information on the Internet, constantly looking for diseases.
While arguing:
⁃ Rising sense of tension in my body
⁃ Shallow breath / hard to breathe
⁃ Broken voice / speaking quietly / lack of air
⁃ Expectation / fear of being judged
⁃ Can’t control mimics
⁃ Trying to be soft
⁃ Fear of other’s authority / opinion
While talking to high authority person (in my opinion) (boss, pretty girl, etc)
⁃ Rising eyelids tension
⁃ One side eye burning sensation then blepharospasm (automatically eyelid closing)
⁃ Losing eyebrows control ( it twitching like if your muscles aren’t strong enough)
⁃ Poor concentration
⁃ Broken voice
I have been undergoing a medical examination for various physical ailments for several years, I still have not been helped. But unfortunately I do not have the opportunity to consult a psychologist. Please help me figure this out, at least understand why this is happening and how I can help myself