Changed my mind about seeking appropriate therapy

This would take a diagnosis. I am, thankfully, not diagnosed.

The now ex bf is trying to say he didn't assault me and he threw a plastic spoon at me and I hurt myself and I have it all wrong because I have DID.

So I said "I'm diagnosed with bipolar. It was a metal spoon. And he's a liar. Yes I'll stand up in court and say that" because it's all true. He can f himself. If I did something I'd put my hands up. What he's doing is disgusting, trying to use my mental health against me, lieing about what he did.

To think I trusted him after he was there for me during my hospital admission and my family did their usual tricks of making my life worse and I nearly let him live with me and really started to trust him. Which I didn't before. What a c**k. Me for trusting him and him for generally being a c**k.

More trouble than it's worth getting this diagnosed and getting proper help because of aholes like this. One day I want to get my parents properly punished, when I know I can rely on every part of me to accept what happened and not panic and say "no nothing happened. I don't know why I said that stuff" Getting a DID diagnosis will not help with that at all it seems or the police wouldn't be questioning me about "hurting myself" and "do I have multiple personalities" when it's just a spoon thrown at me... Imagine if it's more serious. Imagine if my husband had known I have DID he probably would of got away with what he did because he'd know he could use my disorder against me.

No f this. No diagnosis. I'm gonna carry on as I am. I've not done so bad on my own - system map, really good communication between parts, able to process traumatic flashbacks and piece them with what I already know.

I know it's better to get a DID therapist, to get "proper" help but clearly society can not be trusted yet. This spoon incident prooves it.

Knowing this guy how I know him now he's probably showing police all sorts, including this. I do not care. It's hearsay, unprovable, I don't consent to any invasive actions he's taken - as I've said to him many times.

Everyone can f themselves regarding this. Society is an arse. People are spineless weeds and every one of us here is right to hide this disorder because they don't understand it and don't want to. And too many of them can not be trusted to act with integrity.

I think I've finished ranting. Thanks for reading.