How does one move on?

I'm shivering now. My mind is unable to function.

Kenneth, I think calling the hospital or another support service would be a good idea. It sounds like this is really too hard to handle by yourself at the moment. Is there anything we can do here?

Thanks Ada, but I have no respect for psychologists or psychiatrists. I once had a forced therapy session with a psychologist who said that everything I was saying was "$#%^". Granted, I was rude to him because I hate shrinks. However, when I told him that cops were harassing me and people at college were treating me unfairly, he said, "Cops cannot be corrupt. They can be incompetent, but not corrupt. You're delusional." He spoke of my experience in college, "I've been a professor and I know for a fact that teachers do not abuse students."

This person has got to be the stupidest person I've ever met in my life. It is disturbing that he was actually a doctor, which comes to show you that an educated person is not necessarily a smart person. In any case, he was short (five-foot three inches), square-faced and had a heavy accent. I doubt he'll ever find sexual satisfaction outside of masturbation.

In any case, I digress. I remain unable to find a solution to my problem.

I really can't function right now. I'm beginning to lose touch with reality. I do not know what my mission priorities are. There are too many thoughts going on in my mind. I'm in shock.

It doesn't all have to be resolved today. Do you have a way to relax, a way to stop your mind going over and over this today? The problems have been a long time in the making, and if there was a quick fix, you'd've found it by now. I'd suggest thinking only about the immediate basics, and then working slowly from there.

What you are going through sounds horrendous, and your psychiatrists sounds very unsympathetic and unprofessional. You might be entitled to ask for another psychiatrist, and it is possible that it is within your rights as a patient to do so. Do you have any family etc who can give you support, and perhaps liase with the psychiatric services on your behalf? You sound very unwell, and it's essential that you get the help that you deserve.

The racism you are going through is inexcusable, and there is no excuse for this. You may have to make a formal complaint to the authorities at your college. There may also be a college welfare officer, who might be able to help you to fight your case, and who might also be able to find a therapist for you,or at least offer some advice. Most colleges have counsellors on their campuses and you might want to look into this.

Please don't struggle alone as you need to get help for yourself, and enlisting the help of your family, the college authorities, and college welfare officers if there are any might be the first step. If you feel desperate, please go to the emergency room at your hospital, so that you will be safe.

Feel free to PM any of the moderators on here if you need to talk, even if it's to offload.

My family hates me. Ever since I was a child, they tried to brainwash me into being a coward. They told me never to fight back, and to always kiss up to people. Even in my first year in college, there were two mattresses in the dorm, and since I was first in the room, I took the clean one. My parents told me to take the dirty one to avoid trouble with my roommate. I tried to object, but they begged me to take the dirty one. I would try to help them stop being such cowards, but their brainwashing severely traumatized me as a child. They're hopeless. I am a fighter and it sickens me that I share their genetic code. I would feel sympathy for them if they didn't brainwash me.

Actually, it's been years since I graduated from college. The whites and blacks tried to have me expelled because of my controversial beliefs, and I will hate them for the rest of my life. The memory of what they did to me is always on my mind. I tried to move on, to get on with my life, but try as I may, I think about them all the time. It's sad, but it is a mental prison from which there is no escape.

I don't want to go to the emergency room because psychiatry partly caused all this trauma. I have only one friend, but he is very busy and cannot return my calls. I don't even know why I'm on this website because I assume this site is controlled by mental health professionals. This website is the only outlet I have. Again, this is sad, but it is the reality of the situation.

I hate my life and I hate this world.

I know I should be doing something about these problems that I'm having, but I can't. I don't understand the reasons behind this, but I am stone still at this point. I can't think straight. I can't stop these thoughts. I have seen too much pain to handle in one lifetime. I don't even know why I'm here on this message board. People who respond are just complete strangers. I have nowhere else to turn to. My therapist can't help -- he's already told me everything he knows. My only friend won't return my calls. I can't escape. It's a prison. My mind. Need help.

There is no escape for this condition I am in. I can't figure out what to do. I have no one to turn to.

I just went through my past. There is nothing I can do about it. The people who did this to me have gotten away with it.

There's so much pain that I don't know where to begin. It's like a person that's been skinned alive. There are so many injuries that the doctor doesn't know where to start.

They were laughing at me. Laughing at me with their big blue eyes. Those white people I met in school were the most sadistic people I've ever met in my life. They took no offense when a black student made fun of Asians. They took extreme offense when I did the same thing to blacks.

I didn't do much about it. Next time this happens, I will take immediate action.

Right now, I can't do any productive work because my computer is malfunctioning.

I keep on seeing their sadistic smiles. I hate them.