Our partner

Does it ever end?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Terry E.

Does it ever end?

Postby twotimevictim » Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:33 pm

I was raped twice and I thought I was over it, today I realized I'm not. The first time was New Year's Eve 1991 - date rape. The second time was June 13, 2002 - a "friend" used a date rape drug on me. The first one I never reported. The second one I did, but the grand jury did not indict. I was devastated. I sought counselling the second time and I thought I was fine, but I still have occasional nightmares. Today, while watching a true crime show about a rape that was very similar to mine I had a flashback and started panicking. My doors are locked and I'm afraid, although I don't know why. I know I am safe in my home, my rapes were not break ins. My husband will be home from work in an hour. I have Xanax for anxiety and I should take one (I'm shaking so bad I can hardly type) but I don't want to be a slave to medication. I want to beat this thing. I don't want these men to win. I am no longer in counselling and I don't want to go back, but I want it to end. It is almost New Year's Eve and that is a rough time of year for me. Somehow I always know when the "anniversaries" come around. It's not like I try to keep track or anything, I just automatically beging having flashbacks and nightmares. Will it ever end?
twotimevictim
 


ADVERTISEMENT

Postby seanetal » Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:57 pm

Two,

The short answer is "sort of", maybe not what you wanted to hear and I really wish I could have said "yes" but the truth is it doesn't end but it can improve to the point where it is a non-issue for most people.

You may always be troubled by flashbacks and nightmares when you get triggered by something that reminds you of the trauma, but as you deal with the traumas in therapy and identify and deal with each of your triggers things will improve. My own experience is from childhood sexual abuse and I have been coping now for quite a while. Each year things seem to improve. This year I was triggered worse than I have been in some time but I managed fairly well and was able to get through it without any major problems.

As for triggering events like the show you watched - those will always have an effect on you, but the next time you watch such a show the impact will be slightly less than it was this time.

Now for the Xanax... take it when you truly need it, but try taking half a pill. If that is effective, then the next time you need one take a quarter pill. Often that will be eough for your body to react. Some of this reaction will be the Placebo effect but you know what... who gives a $#%^ as long as it works!

Now for the flashbacks... the following link is an article I wrote with tips I collected about coping with my own flashbacks, hopefully some of these ideas will help you as well.

http://www.mental-health-matters.com/ar ... ?artID=154

Remember that the flashbacks are your mind's way of working out the trauma and if they are minor ones and you can cope you should try and allow them to happen. I really believe this allows us to get through the trauma and move ahead. The big ones though you can take some action to stop or slow... whatever you need to do.

I find that after a flashback I am often so exhausted I want to go right to sleep. I fight this for as long as I can and sometimes the exhaustion wears off, if it does not I will take a hot shower and make myself as relaxed as possible before I do fall asleep so I can avoid any follow-up nightmares. This helps most of the time and has made things much easier for me.

I hope some of this has been helpful.
seanetal
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1977
Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2002 2:55 am
Local time: Tue Jul 01, 2025 11:48 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Does it ever end?

Postby joiedevivre23 » Mon Jun 05, 2006 12:35 am

Dear two time victim,

I am so sorry to hear about your experience. I am rather sympathetic. As a sophomore in college, I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend at the time. The detective for campus security who investigated my complaint was extremely dismissive and insensitive. He told me that someone can only be raped by a stranger in a dark alley. Then, to add further insult to injury, he informed me that because I had been involved with a minority that I would have been perceived as a slut when he was in college. Needless to say, this individual was in dire need of sensitivity training.

In terms of coping mechanisms, I agree with Sean's suggestions, especially, regarding the triggers. Unfortunately, the movie that you watched that remind you of one of your rapes may need to be avoided for the meantime. While I am not convinced that anyone can become completely desensitized to this trauma, I believe that reducing exposure to prospective triggers when one is vulnerable may be beneficial.

Regarding the self help route, I think you need to pursue the course of action that is most appropriate for you. I have dealt with some wonderful therapists who listened and provided amazing suggestions. On the flipside of the coin, I also encountered others whom I believe enjoyed listening to my tale of woe for their $100 hourly fee.

I hope that your husband provides you with emotional support. If you are afraid of overwhelming him, you may want to find a support group in your area. In addition, check out books regarding PTSD from your local library or purchase some from a bookstore. I hope these suggestions help you on your path to recovery. Take care.
joiedevivre23
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:47 pm
Local time: Tue Jul 01, 2025 2:48 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest