Can't Think Straight

I can't think straight. I had the impulse to do something that would have been disastrous. I really am having trouble focusing on my purpose. I have a hundred thoughts running through my mind. I really need help, but I don't know where to go except here. My therapist says there is nothing he can do. I am not sure why I am writing here, but I have nowhere else to go.

Kenneth, what is it that you might do, have you told your therapist about these thoughts. Do you take any meds Ken. Could you go and talk to your your doctor about how you feel is there a walk in healthcare centre near you?

Kenneth, there is always help available. Please speak to your doctor or a therapist, and stress to them the urgency that you feel. There are people on the forum who can listen too, but no one here can take the place of a professional. I really hope that things become easier for you. This can be achieved with the right kind of help. I wish you well. If you need to PM me or any of the other moderators on here, please feel free to do so.

Greatexpectations, what I am thinking about doing is something private so I can't tell you, but all I can say that it would have serious consequences. The only way I can prevent this is by thinking more or less like a terminator, but it's harder than it sounds. I told my therapist. He says that these thoughts are just thoughts, and if I just let them be there, I can make them unimportant. I do take meds. There is a psychiatric hospital nearby, but part of the trauma I experienced comes from that hospital. The psychiatrist there institutionalized me even though I was not willing, and nearly ruined my life. I hate psychiatry, but for private reasons, I have to see a therapist regularly.

Thanks, masquerade. I'll be sure to contact you if it is necessary.

This is getting worse by the hour. I am starting to think about doing something that would harm a lot of people who do not deserve to be harmed. I am also thinking of the past. How I failed to defend my ethnic group on time, and it resulted in disastrous consequences. I am trying to do something about it. Right now, there is little I can do about it.

I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.

I have have similar thoughts to yours in the past, I do understand.
But you are right these people do not deserved to be harmed, to harm them would do no good.

I am also thinking of the past

The past cannot be changed (unfortunately) To make the world a better place good, compassionate, kind, peaceful action is needed.
The future is important, the past is to be learned from.
Bad people do bad things and I do not think you are a bad person Kenneth.

I'm also on some heavy medications. I need to tell my psychiatrist to change this because right now, I keep looking up. The medication causes my eyes to roll up, and I can't seem to counteract it. I need to tell him to change my medication. I'm trying to use the computer now to force me to look straight.

That sounds very scary!

I would contact your GP or your psychiatrist as SOON as you can! That shouldn't be happening at all.
And if you feel you might do something dangerous, perhaps could you contact a crisis number? Or could you write your thoughts down in an email to send to your psychiatrist or your therapist?

Yeah, it does sound scary, thus you can imagine how I feel when I'm the subject of the condition.

Tomorrow, I have a really important job interview. All I can do is hope that I haven't forgotten anything important.

-- Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:40 am --

Also, I've recently been having strange thoughts. These thoughts could lead to disastrous consequences. It is getting difficult to stop these thoughts from manifesting into reality.

Hang in there Kenneth. Good luck for the job interview. Who knows, if it goes well and you get the job, it may help keep your mind off of these thoughts?