Social problems I need to settle down

When I was a patient at Women's xxx Hospital, I saw one poster within their premises.
It says something to the effect that abused women have more chances/possibilities to get involved in social problems than regular women.

In my case, it is true and correct.
I've involved in many social problems so far, and I'm swamped.
I need to write down all of them to recognize them.

I think this is very true. Many women (and men) particularly those neglected or abused in childhood grow up with a distorted view of themselves and of what to expect from a relationship.
If you are ignored/beaten/raped, or maybe told you are ugly, stupid, rubbish and the cause of all the families problems, how are you then to have self esteem, feel good about yourself, feel important and valuable??
Being treated badly is your norm.

It says something to the effect that abused women have more chances/possibilities to get involved in social problems than regular women.

Yes it is easy to get into problems, alcohol and drugs can (temporarily) numb hurt. We do not recognise an abuser like a normie would, after all abuse is our (screwed up idea) of normal.
I have fell into the same traps for years, relationships that are below par/abusive.
Heck, I when I look back I realise 'I married my mother' so to speak. YUK

To survive we have to educate ourselves to listen carefully, observe, watch body language, note any aggressive behaviour and NOT make excuses for it. It is just not good enough for us any more. RIGHT FOLKS !!??

In my case, it is true and correct.
I've involved in many social problems so far, and I'm swamped.
I need to write down all of them to recognize them.

Good idea gato1116

Greatexpectations wrote:I think this is very true. Many women (and men) particularly those neglected or abused in childhood grow up with a distorted view of themselves and of what to expect from a relationship.

Yes, I am the one who grew up with a distorted view of myself. My mom forced me to behave in a certain manner. My mom has never know true-myself. She had her own dirty and twisted view of myself and tried to cover this mask on me. That was a very painful experience. It was hard to breath under the mask.

My mom gave me insult, violation, discouragement, indifference, cold face, angry face and abuses. When I confront other people, I, as an adult, still expect to have insult, violation, discouragement, indifference, cold face, angry face and abuses.

I am a slow reader; I will read the rest of your reply later...

PTSD causes many problems.. Defenses go up as my mind and nervous system are fighting other wars inside myself from long ago. I cannot be at both places at the same time,the outside world and the inside world. Therefore, my brain dissociates from the present. If those outside influences get to close I go into fight or panic mode. I shut down and keep everyone out.

It is hard to respond. For me, Paralysis of responding caused triggering of a full and tormenting volcano. I could not interact... I have no strength. Every-time I would express myself, it would trigger PTSD problems... I was not someone that others could approach.... I scared people away.

The general public has no clue.. They create tax money, that is all they are good at... This can make life indifferent and not a fun place to live..

Im sorry your going through so much pain. I hope things get better for you. You are not alone in your struggle..

Greatexpectations wrote:If you are ignored/beaten/raped, or maybe told you are ugly, stupid, rubbish and the cause of all the families problems, how are you then to have self esteem, feel good about yourself, feel important and valuable??
Being treated badly is your norm.

I was ignored by my mom when I needed attention. She paid most attention to my younger sis.
I was hit by my mom. I was raped by a guy. I was told ugly by my classmate. I was told stupid by my dad. I was told I was the cause of all the problems by my previous landlord.
I don't remember if somebody told me if I was a rubbish...

I have very low self-esteem. Somehow I keep attracting people who treat me badly. I need to change my situation. I have been feeling bad about myself. It's difficult for me to recognize I am important and valuable. Yes, it was my norm being treated bad. hmm...
I think ppl around me had a norm that gato1116 should be treated bad.., I hate ppl who have such norm. It is very wrongful norm, isn't it? I try not to relate to such people. My landlords have been treating me very badly, so I will try not to relate to them. I feel no connections with 'em.

There are a lot of ugly-minded and cruel people around. Sometimes it hard to recognize them because we blame ourselves and internalize their negativity. The best thing to do is remember it is them and not you who is out of line. It is hard to do when you have been trained to feel like you are in the wrong, I know. You can find ways to cope with them better or steer clear of them. The thing is, these people will always be around and inevitably there is always another one coming around the corner so coping skills are essential.

Yes, I agree with you. I've met quite a few people who are ugly-minded, cruel and closed. They are very sad people.

Some people are very expressive about their ugliness, but some are carefully hide their ugliness. I feel more scared of the latter. They put me down without my noticing that It is terrifying.

i.e., I went to see a social worker at hospital the last year. I didn't like her at all, but I needed to apply for disability assistance and I thought I need to see her. In the middle of our conversation, she used a big word, which most ppl don't use in an ordinary conversation. I felt she was bullying me as non-native English speaker. I didn't know that word; I just looked at her with a 'what do you think you are doing?' look.
She has every responsibility to be communicative to her clients.
She doesn't need to intimidate a client with a big word.
I'm going to bed; I will read the rest later.

OMNICELL wrote:PTSD causes many problems.. Defenses go up as my mind and nervous system are fighting other wars inside myself from long ago. I cannot be at both places at the same time,the outside world and the inside world. Therefore, my brain dissociates from the present. If those outside influences get to close I go into fight or panic mode. I shut down and keep everyone out.

It is hard to respond. For me, Paralysis of responding caused triggering of a full and tormenting volcano. I could not interact... I have no strength. Every-time I would express myself, it would trigger PTSD problems... I was not someone that others could approach.... I scared people away.

The general public has no clue.. They create tax money, that is all they are good at... This can make life indifferent and not a fun place to live..

Im sorry your going through so much pain. I hope things get better for you. You are not alone in your struggle..

Omnicell,

I don't remember if I replied to you.
My memory has been damaged by PTSD.

so I checked my replies again, and I found I have not replied to you...
Yes, my nervous system is not functioning well, too.


>I cannot be at both places at the same time,the outside world and the inside world

Now I remember that I read this sentence while ago...but...I didn't understand the meaning, and I got scared. When I don't understand, I get scared. That was the reason why I didn't reply to you soon after you wrote. Please do not take it personally.

Well… I am having tough time 'cause I have to deal with outer world, as you say, but inner problems are torturing me.
I need to create a balance!!!

yeah, tax and all those things…everybody needs to deal with them but it's not fun at all. I have fun when I dance.

I appreciate you understand my pains. Some people are very indifferent to my pains, even though I complain it.

-- Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:44 pm --

The social problem I had is that I went to a dentist in Toronto in March, 2011. I paid out of my pocket. Later I submitted an insurance card. However, I have not reimbursed yet. It's been one year. I am concerned...

Worker's Compensation Board covers a counselling fee.
I met a social worker at WCH in Toronto, however, she did not connect me to this service.
I feel I was discriminated by her.
Today I spoke with one social worker student who works for FSGV, and she said I can apply for it.

Until now, I have been abused by people who are supposed to help me.
I wonder if this is a racism or sexism... I am a visible minority in Canada.
I need to deal with this racism, too.