Two people with PTSD dating, bad idea?

Me and a guy that I have been getting close to (slowly) both have PTSD. We aren’t in a relationship yet, because we are taking things nice and slow, which is what we both need. We have been getting to know each other since April, his brother introduced us while this guy was in Afghanistan because he thought we’d be good for each other. (He got home October 4 of this year).

We have started involving each other in things relating to our PTSD, which is a big step for both of us. He took me to the Remembrance Day Ceremony in Ottawa (Huge ceremony up hear in the capital of Canada) with him, he’s never let anyone go before, not even family. And I took him with me for my first time getting back on a horse (after 2 years) after my rape, which was a huge step for me even though it seems dumb. Now he is teaching me how to shoot a gun, which is really hard for him being a soldier with PTSD, and I’m teaching him how to cut (horse sport), which is really hard for me because horses are the way I met the guy who essentially caused the rape.

We both really like each other and want to take things nice and slow before going into a relationship and if we go into a relationship, but I can’t help but wonder if two people with PTSD is a bad idea… We both have nightmares, flashbacks, physical contact issues and intimacy issues, which could either be a very bad thing or a very good thing. We can relate to each other, but it could also make a terrible relationship if we don’t move at the same time or one of us does something wrong. And I also wonder if we would be a constant reminder to each other of our pasts. My family thinks it’s a horrible idea because he’s 4 years older (whoopty), and because he could unintentionally hurt me if he was having a flashback, I triggered something, or in his sleep. I’m also worried that if he did happen to unintentionally hurt me (I’d never blame him) that I might become scared of him because of my own PTSD.

Any advice, opinions or experience with this kinda thing?

I think that whilst things could be difficult at times and there is no guarantee that it would work because of the problems you mention remember that you are not just a diagnosis and if you like each other I think it is worth giving it a go. That is my thoughts anyhow

Cracked

Both having PTSD might mean you can end up relating to one another better and finding that you are better able to have empathy and support for each other... In terms of worrying if he might accidentally hurt you because of being triggered, cross that bridge if you come to it, it might never happen that he accidentally hurts you mid flashback (I don't think it's common that people do that, I certainly haven't ever heard of anyone saying here that it's happened to them). And in terms of him being 4 years older, well, that's hardly anything to write home about, it's hardly a substantial age difference...

If I was you, I'd just take it easy and see how it goes... Everyone has problems... His is PTSD... In terms of how that effects your interacting with one another, it could be a lot worse... I wouldn't worry about it too much in advance and just let yourself see how the relationship develops...

I think what you are doing is a great idea. You are both helping each other heal. I too have ptsd due to a sexual assult in the military. The only people I get along with are others with ptsd. When I say im done and walk away, they totally get it.

its so nice to be understood.

I think two people with PTSD dating is actually a good idea. I had a lot of trouble with guys not understanding why I was the way I was (I mean, I have other issues too but still), then I met my (now) fiance. He has PTSD too.

We just understand each other so much better. Yes, it's hard when I come downstairs and he's had a flashback and I can't possibly fix how he's feeling...but other than that, the understanding we have for each other is what has kept us going.