Nervous system is shot..!!

my nervous system is shot from all the years of CPTSD problems. I have been a walking sponge for PTSD all my life. I have the artists personality and a life full of pathological people that have been going to war with me from the beginning... Ive had my life destroyed several times. This last time almost was permanent.

Im still here. It just sucks. How am I suppose to ever function in the outside world.

In addition to that. Most of the public Ive been around thinks PTSD is Rambo related. They have no idea about anything. When ever I get around people they get defiant or competitive. They want to have PTSD just like Rambo so they can be the tuff movie star. Im terrified of these people. They have no idea what their getting into. Or what this is about. The problem is , in this area they cant compete. I have to walk away from them. They have no idea what their talking about. I wont allow others to trigger the PTSD. I have to get out of their. Its a horrible nightmare dealing with so many immature people. In fact its like being on mars. I shy away from people. They think Im weak so they hit on me... Im not shying away because Im weak. I shy away because I will go to war with them... !! I have to stop and walk away , and let them think Im weak.. Theirs no way these people now what I know. Its like dealing with a bunch of people from kindergarden class. That would be OK if their were only a few of them. Their everywhere. They dominate the landscape. I am the one who is out of place. Its sucks.. I wonder if I will ever be able to relate to people ever again...

Just being outside causes allot of problems for me...

Responding to people was completely impossible before. Everyone thought I was crazy. Now its a bit better. I need it to get better.

And this felt gooood to write..... Smile

I am glad you managed to get out your feelings. I hope you feel better. What help are you having for the CPTSD?

Cracked

It sounds awful that you are around people who have that attitude to PTSD... Are you getting some help for your CPTSD at the moment? from a therapist perhaps? I know from your other posts you have strong faith, but I'm just wondering what other practical things you have been doing to help your situation...