Do you, fellow abuse survivors, hate abusers?

I do hate my abuser, my father. I can't forgive him, and, besides, he just has a terrible personality. There's nothing good about the man.

I've tried to understand him, hoping it would bring relief; but instead, I just started dislking him even more. So I gave up.

I am sorry to hear about your abuse Severijn

Cracked

Thanks CrackedGirl. Just reading some of the posts here make me feel better, so I know I'm not the only one that went through this.

I hate abusers honestly. What they do is wrong for whatever reason they have. But.. I was taught to forgive. Abusers are wrong and what they do is wrong but I cannot hate them. I can hate what they're doing, of course, but I can't hate them. And I forgive anybody for what they do. Does this mean it's okay to do what they're doing? No. Does this mean I want them to do it some more? No. Here's a poor example: A kid borrows a pencil and breaks it. His friend that he borrowed it from forgave him but was still upset. She asks him not to do it again. She doesn't give him a pencil again ever.
It's basically, I forgive you for what you did or what you're doing, but it's wrong.

I could never forgive my abusers because simply they took from me and changed my life forever.

I don't want to say that I hate them.
Both of my parents had very abusive parents, and it makes sense that some of my Aunts or Uncles would be abusive because that was what they were used to, and they've never learned to heal from it.

I hate that they are abusers. I hate when people abuse others, but I can't say that I hate the abusers. In fact, I'd almost say I sympathize them. More than likely, they were abused too, and they probably don't know how to not abuse others. I hate what my Uncle did to me, but I forgave him. I hate what my cousin did to me, but I forgave them too. I mean, I don't hate my cousin. I know they were being abused too, and were just acting it out on me. It would be really unfair of me to hate them for that. At least, that's the way I see it. I don't talk to them anymore, but I get the feeling that if they don't learn to deal with what happened, they'll end up doing the same thing to their own children that their parents did to them, and so on. I believe it's a cycle, sometimes. I hate what they did, I think it's disgusting and horrible, but I don't hate the person.

If you're referring to sexual abuse, I think yes. At the same time I must admit that physically he offered my body pleasure but he taunted my mind. My perpetrator was an evil human being. As it was my first sexual encounter it was all new to me and he was teaching me things I had never even thought of before. So the answer is maybe, yes I do, I think. But I blame those responsible for protecting me for failing to do their job.

No, I feel no negative feelings towards the person who sexually abused me. I hate that it happened and I hate myself for being a target.

Having been abused isn't a good enough reason in my eyes to abuse another person. But that's just me. I seem to be trapped in a cycle of anguish and calculated unrequited revenge. I hate this damn planet.

i really loathe them. i try to understand that they were most likely victims of abuse too, but its still just so hard to sympathize with them. i could never imagine causing others the pain i have felt. instead i wish there was a way to just channel all their pain to me so so many innocent people dont have to feel it instead. so i could never understand how some abusers use that "well i was abused" thing as a "reason" theyre abusing you too. to me that should be more of a reason to NOT want to abuse others, cause you know how horrible it felt yourself.

no one should ever have to feel those ways i had to feel growing up, but because of that thought, for some stupid reason, no matter how horrible someone is to me i find it so so so hard to be mean or angry with them if they arent mean to me in that exact moment.

like for example.. say im watching a movie and in it the bad guy broke into a family home and raped the wife and brutally murdered the wife and child right in front of the husband.. the whole movie while the husband hunts for him seeking revenge i am rooting for him like crazy just so excited to see the bad guy get hurt real bad, but then when he finally is caught and starts suffering and screaming in agony, i just cant help but feel really bad for him, even though i half feel like they deserve it.

i hate them, and feel bad for them at the same time. its really confusing