What's your story?

Thank you for your reply. Your story definitely helps me to understand so thank you for sharing that with me, I really appreciate it. I have severe emotional detachment. I avoid leaving the house. I also started to experience severe panic attacks that resulted in hospitalisation. I couldn't eat, sleep, get out of bed, speak. I have bad dreams but I can't seem to piece the puzzle together, they don't really feel like my dreams? Like I'm dreaming about someone else? I don't know. I totally agree with diagnosis of "emerging BPD". I'm very paranoid, irrational, aggressive and scared of being alone. I also hear voices and experience hallucinations. The doctors have a huge file "on my case". I just don't know what that case is. I know I've had eating disorders in the past and have been in hospital for that. I just feel a fraud because I have never been sexually abused or anything like that. I guess the flashbacks will come. I was only diagnosed 2-3 months a go.

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it.

Im sorry. This sounds like it could be very confusing for you, you know, with not knowing where all this is stemming from. I think in time, you will be able to make sense of everything. Your mind might be blocking out some sort of abuse. It doesn't have to be sexual. But for you to have PTSD and BPD, I can gaurantee you SOMETHING happened. Whether it was a one time incident or not. Your mind can be blocking it out. Have you asked your parents if they know anything?

I have asked them, my father was never around so he wouldn't know anything. I'd be surprised if he knew my date of birth! My mum blames my father for everything (they are divorced and she hates him). I don't know. Obviously something has happened. Mayb I'll ask to read my file next time I'm at the psychiatrists. I'm just scared of finding out the truth! It is very confusing and I still don't like the diagnosis of PTSD. I know I have issues, that much is clear.

Thank you for your help

Alcoholic physically abusive father, my parents finally divorced when he choked me and left me for dead in a tore up room.Sexual abuse from a family friend at a young age.Diagnose ADHD at 13(back then it was called minimal brain dysfunction)

I have a laundry list of diagnoses. Bipolar , borderline personality disorder,PTSD, impulse control issues and some lesser things.

My biggest problem in life is duration. I can't seem to keep jobs, friends, relationships.I start out o.k. but time seems to be an enemy of mine. Things build up to a blow up so often , even on meds.

Hi

I was dx with PTSD and Disassociative disorder last week. I had been having difficulties with my current life, basically can't live in the now, always thinking about the past and everything old and anything that happened before, be it significant or not. I remember too many unnecessary things, i am full of anger, always on the edge in defensive stance, feeling insecure, self esteem below 0 and trust issues.

I believe I got the PTSD dx because of my experience with my father molesting me from age 5 - 10, I remember him checking to see if I was a virgin at 15- and my mother was at the door, then on, I knew I was to get out of that crazy house- long story short, recently had children of my own , and have always questioned my parents way of raising us growing up (or lack of so to speak)....

I have a lot of hate, anger and suppressed memories and feelings towards my parents, and they have no idea.

I've got PTSD from childhood sexual abuse, along with a million other issues (autism, possible DID and clinical depression, other stuff). My self-esteem doesn't exist and neither does my happiness.

Bigmatt wrote:My biggest problem in life is duration. I can't seem to keep jobs, friends, relationships.I start out o.k. but time seems to be an enemy of mine. Things build up to a blow up so often , even on meds.

+1, especially with relationships. I just end up drifting away. I have no idea how it happens.

I'm 30 years old, diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar, comorbid despersonalization and schizoid. My first 17 years old were filled with physical and psychological abuse at home and school. Countless of times I ended in hospital due to the beatings, including many losses of conscience (fainting) which I remember quite a few of them waking up and still being beaten.

At 15 years old I started practicing Kickboxing and Muay-Thai which solved the physical abuse at school to my side, but started having issues for putting others in the hospital when needing to defend myself. As soon I made 18 years old I went to the Army just to run away from home and get rid of everything, and about a year later I was discharged with depression, later being changed to a Bipolar diagnosis and PTSD.

11 years have passed, 2 attempts of suicide, countless of pills, doctors and therapists, nothing working. For me is virtually impossible to make friends or trust anyone. I am literally a loner.

The main/host in our system has been diagnosed with DID with Severe Amnesia & C-PTSD, BPD, EDNOS among other things. There are also others with other disorders in our system. We suffered psychological/emotional/verbal/physical/sexual abuse as well as some other stuff we don't want to mention.

The birth child is gone, and there are several others of us who handle daily life. So, yeah, that's us. I'm Kerry. I don't have PTSD, but many others of us do.

Kerry

Hi Kerry and welcome to you all

Cracked

I am very confused with mosaicmonkey post. System?