What's your story?

Thank you for sharing your story. Would you like to start a thread about it as it sounds like there are some complex things to work through in there and there may be ppl outthere who can offer you advice.

Cracked

jasmin wrote:Hi, everyone!

In this thread, you can take some time to introduce yourself and meet the community. Please make separate topics for receiving advice, but you can talk about your situation or life here, if you like.

Did you find this forum helpful?

What made you decide to post here?

I've actually been a participant on this site for a while now, but pretty much all of it's been in the histrionic personality disorder forum.. Trying to understand what was going on in the mind and dynamics of a lady I was involved with actually led a member there to point out that I was showing classic signs of PTSD. It's ironic because my post military volunteer work was as a PTSD victim's guide through the V.A... Drilled into my head through the classes was the phrase: "Even though the behavior is glaringly obvious to most people.. Most PTSD servicemen are totally unaware that their difficulties are PTSD."

In my own case, combat and a near fatal parachute malfunction set the stage for later events that would lead to my psyche developing post trauma reactions. In 2007 I was present at the crossroads mall in Omaha where (if you'll remember) a deranged teen shot and killed 9 people.. My "fiancee" at the time has a mental illness called 'Histrionic Personality Disorder'.. People with the disorder are often described as "emotional vampires" or "psychological sadists"... *shrugging*

I guess you could say I've had some Shi77y luck. lol But the Vet's administration has excellent resources for PTSD.. As well as links for those who's trauma is NOT service related.

Welcome and please feel free to offer the knowledge you clearly have in the combat PTSD subforum too.

Cracked

Hello and hi everybody.

I was only 18 i was scared to death i was using marijunna alone in the house i got scared thinking the cops are gonna snatch me i flipped and got into heavy shock and fear . i was also not able to pay bills so i moved into my car lived their for a few montrhs that shocked me to hell . it was difficult for me i was shocked too much streess in my life i could not handle it .

i got worse by addictions more and more cocaine and marihjuanna mixture bazerked me more and more i plipped lost control of my mind and didnt reliase what has been happening
the stress caused me to go nuts i flipped more and more goning to houses where people get high i flipped on tv and a cop was their i mastaken him for arrest he was thier to drug himself i saw a movie of jail and scum coming out of face i confused my self with it thought i was evil and full of demons i tripped more and more started to clean self thinking i want to be clean i went crazy i always like to clean now i am found of cleaning not only that i go crazt thinking evil is following me and i feel evil outside my home i stay home isolate self from society and flip i think ive lost contact with realty i am so isolated it crazy i dont have any freinds to resort too i m afraid of all people when i go out i get more scared i m lost and confused what going on i took anti pychotic meds they made me cool down but bacame real fat i stopped the and resorted to anti depressents they made me happy like a nerd dont know whats happening around me i took xanax to stop my fear i bacam so unafraid i can stand infront of car and get hit its crazy ive been on many medications my doctor said your diagnonsis is not listed i think its drug indiuced paranioa . cause i was never afraid before this new only after taking marijuanna and thinking cops are out to get me its like a bad experience i went through wounded me inside out non the less living in a caar was not healthy either . its scary this world when your alone no one to resort too i was decived by my freinds so i tripped on music and radio thinking they were talking about me and explaining me i flipped bad and dont know what to do

Welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story. You dont sound very well atm, when do you next see your Dr? Thinking of you.

Cracked

Approached doctor with symptoms at age 22. Rapidly plied with medications - ended up on 7 at any one time. Twelve years, 30 hospitalizations, medications treatment finally declared a failure. Told I could be spending rest of life in a locked facility. I was forced into shock treatments. Scheduled for 6 to 8 ECT but only had 2 - reacted so badly.

That period of my life ended 23 years ago. Oops - the doctors had made a mistake. Turns out my original symptoms were due to epilepsy not psych problems. The heavy duty psych meds had been a toxic brew for me. Those 12 years were unnecessary.

I am doing well now - have been working at the same job for 10 years - have not been on any meds for the past 23 years. But did need counseling. Two years after leaving psychiatric care, began having symptoms of PTSD - flashbacks and daily intrusive memories. Needed to understand what had happened. Needed to deal with feeling of guilt over what family and children went thru while I was 'ill'. Very angry over ECT which felt like rape. Needed to grieve the loss of those years. Was very difficult making decision to go for help.

I am done with counseling now - no more PTSD. I don't forget but I am doing well.

Welcome to the forum

Cracked

TRIGGER WARNING

Hi everyone! This is the first forum I started posting in a year ago but it was REALLY quiet so im glad to see that's changed for the better.

This year i was dx with bipolar, and that's its own can of worms that started when I was 16 but never really pinned down until this year. But 5 years ago or so I was dx C-PTSD. So much anxiety everyday I was barely functioning at times.

BUT

As far as my CPTSD symptoms are concerned I'm happy to report I'm doing really well now. Last year I was complaining about near constant flashbacks, intrusive memories, depersonilization/derealization. Well, my therapist and I tried imaginal exposure of early childhood abuse... after 3 or 4 years we had reached the very back of the abuse closet in my brain and came to the sexual abuse that I swear I thought I would never ever talk about with anyone. I was terrified to have to sit in a room and not just relive it in front of another person but have to record it and listen to the recording all week long. After two sessions, the therapy did exactly what it was supposed to... I felt so much peace You know how with PTSD the traumas have no emotions attached, they're just facts of your life that may as well have happened to another person you've never met, because you don't feel them and they aren't integrated? The imaginal exposure totally integrates them! It was like all of that abandoned feeling was put back into my body and my memory where it belonged and now has as much ability to haunt me as a memory of tying my shoes lol

It was years to get there but a year ago I would have liked hearing that you CAN recover form this stuff. So thought I'd share.

Thank you so much Son and welcome.

Cracked

Mine is raped a 4 by next door neighbour, forced into sex acts with my brother, paedophile step dad from 9 years on, unprotective mother who actually treated me like the other woman and took me to her catholic counsellor colleague to tell me I was "ripping my family apart" and that unless I stopped "seducing" my stepfather, I would be responsible for the family breakdown. I left home at 12, but still went to school even when homeless, coming first in all my classes. I put myself through uni, thinking that education would be the key to transcend my abuse... and my health failed and I couldn't use my degree or finish my post graduate studies. I live on the disability pension and try to function as highly as I can; and accept the times when my health gives way.