PTSD really sucks

I think I hate it more than anything else in this life.

I agree!!!!
I put up with at the age of 9, 24/7 abuse, repeated rape and sodomity.
my mother knew, but looked the other way. So I had to go to
combat-survival mode. Been there ever since. Sometimes
I can control it, and other times it controls me.

Medication does help. lots of tips on how to deal with it.
i have dealt with it, and dealt withit somore.

I dont think it leaves, because you are triggered with ptsd.
But you can control your reaction to the trigger SOMETIMES.

You are not alone. not by a long shot.
Peace and Safety to you,
Red

it never leaves...

But it gets better.

Yes it does.

It is a living hell - a haunted house in my head. My body reacts in physical ways that I can not control. I'm in a five day isolation - vomiting with the memories and triggers of present circumstances - unable to sleep without the assistance of a heavy dose of Trazodone - only to be haunted in sedation


People say they want to be "happy" - I just want relief!

Yes I sure agree that PTSD really sucks.

My life would certainly be a lot easier without all of the body memories I experience, that's for sure.

lily1969 wrote:It is a living hell - a haunted house in my head. My body reacts in physical ways that I can not control. I'm in a five day isolation - vomiting with the memories and triggers of present circumstances - unable to sleep without the assistance of a heavy dose of Trazodone - only to be haunted in sedation

Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much. Have you got a therapist to help you through this at the moment?

Thanks for the welcome - Yes - I have a wonderful psychiatrist that is also my therapist and I am on good medications but sometimes neither one can prevent the feelings and fear from being overwhelming. I see her every other day and her help keeps me in the present. I have always had the ability to dissociate and am now learning how to do it consciously to better deal with the trigger.

My present life circumstances have prompted difficulty in managing it all in a reasonable manner. I will struggle through though - I have to - it's just not very pretty and certainly very painful. I am trying to work through it as if It were someone else involved - not me - not my personal life. And I think and react as if I were helping someone through pain and shame.

Isolating today - feeling nauseous even after vomiting this morning - ugh.

lily1969 ,

I'm glad to hear you have a good therapist who is also giving you some good medication to help. My therapist is a psychiatrist also. It is good that your therapist is helping you learn to consciously deal with the triggers, it is really hard to tone down the impact the trigger has on you if you are dissociating. I think it is really good that you are trying to treat yourself well, like you would if you were speaking to someone else going through the tough situation that you are in.

I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well today. I hope things start to feel better for you soon.

Salted Lipstick - et al.

Thank you. Today is a better day - it's a process - and one I will get through - as I refuse to pay homage to all the traumas that have prompted my PTSD. I am sick of it! This is not how I want to live my life - this is not who I want to be.

I am learning to use my superpower of dissociating for good and health - not a way to run away and hide. All my symptoms are normal reactions to an abnormal situation. I just have to figure a way to remain out of abnormal situations.

I hope all is well with you and thank you for your encouraging words.

Im newly diagnosed and I agree it sucks! Im crawling out of my skin today. Have an appt with my dr tomorrow for meds and it cant come soon enough. Im in isolation mode and have been for days. Im glad I found this place and hope to share more when I feel a little more confident. Sigh.

JestersTear wrote:Im newly diagnosed and I agree it sucks! Im crawling out of my skin today. Have an appt with my dr tomorrow for meds and it cant come soon enough. Im in isolation mode and have been for days. Im glad I found this place and hope to share more when I feel a little more confident. Sigh.

Hello and welcome to the forum. I hope you feel free to start a thread here about your own issues when you feel ready. It's good to hear that you have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, hopefully it helps a little. It's also good that you are taking positive steps like reaching out to talk here, that's very positive. I look forward to getting to know you a little better.