Am I over-analyzing or is this PTSD?

In May, I got out of a 7 year relationship with a physically and emotionally abusive boyfriend. He isolated me from my family-- I was not allowed to go to family celebrations, I was not allowed to talk to any of them, and sometimes I had to do rude or inappropriate things to them because of his control over me. A lot of them don't understand now, that it was not my fault that these things happened and my brother in particular likes to bring up some stupid things that I did as a result. It hurts because I know that they think I let this happen to me and I feel ashamed every day about these things. When I first contacted my mother to say that I wanted to leave him and ask her for her help, she was honest with me and told me that she didn't trust me anymore, but now I think we have an okay relationship again.
My father died the day before my birthday less than a month after I left my boyfriend. It was very stressful, understandably, but also because of the paranoia I faced when it came to dealing with the will. My uncle and aunt were executors and they had their own lawyer that we used. But everyone kept telling me that they were trying to get the house that my father left to me. Another complication was that my father's girlfriend was living in the house with her three kids and I had to have them evicted, which I am still working through. I am only 25 and it's a lot to deal with. I worry about money every day because I don't know how I am going to be able to afford it. Plus my brother I think is a little mad because he said he thinks he should have gotten half of the house.
I have been dating someone ever since I left my abuser and he is really good except for the fact that he has panic attacks and some depression, which I know are not his fault, but sometimes I get angry because I feel helpless.
The reasons that I think I might possibly have C-PTSD are that I keep having dreams about my ex, ones in which I go back to him and he is hurting me, also dreams about my father (I never had dreams about him before) and dreams about my aunt and uncle. I also am almost always sad. Sometimes I am very anxious and nervous--on edge. I freaked out in a store a couple weeks ago, I just started to panic, but it wasn't a panic attack because there weren't any physical symptoms, only mental. I feel a lot of guilt and shame about everything and feel like I have no future despite the fact that people tell me I''m smart and a hard worker. Sometimes I don't know how to act in my new relationship because I am worried about getting hurt again so there are times when I worry about being taken advantage of, even though I know they are unfounded worries. I prefer to isolate myself and only hang out with my boyfriend, but this makes me feel like I did when I was with my abuser because at that time I was dependent upon my ex because he made me isolate myself. Please give me any help you can think of. Thank you for reading.

Hi,

There's some work to be done here, but you will be able to get through it. Firstly, I think that you and your partner should spend some time each evening talking to each other about what is on your respective minds. Try not to let your voices raise though, and just speak calmy about your problems to each other. If you and he can do this for even 10 minutes each night, then you will be both strengthening the relationship and giving each other free counselling. On that note though, I think that counselling could help you out too, especially for the dreams that you are having about your father and ex-artner. I think that the more you talk about these, the less problematic they will become.

Kevin

Hi,

I read your story (which was very moving) and yes I do personally think that you have PTSD.

(I am not playing the role of an expert here but I have a lot of experience with the issue and yes I do think you have it).

But don't despair-- there is a lot of hope and PTSD is very treatable-- (you can overcome it and grow in the process)--

Just don't go for burying it (or holding on to it either).

The secret is to get a good therapist who will teach you meditation techniques and how to live more fully in the present moment again.

There are also desensitation (visualization-exposure) techniques that can help as well.

Hang in there! There is a lot of hope although you need to be gentle and patient with yourself along the way. Keep educating yourself and don't let anyone tell you can't get better because you can.

Very best! Phil

need_help_now wrote:In May, I got out of a 7 year relationship with a physically and emotionally abusive boyfriend. He isolated me from my family-- I was not allowed to go to family celebrations, I was not allowed to talk to any of them, and sometimes I had to do rude or inappropriate things to them because of his control over me. A lot of them don't understand now, that it was not my fault that these things happened and my brother in particular likes to bring up some stupid things that I did as a result. It hurts because I know that they think I let this happen to me and I feel ashamed every day about these things. When I first contacted my mother to say that I wanted to leave him and ask her for her help, she was honest with me and told me that she didn't trust me anymore, but now I think we have an okay relationship again.
My father died the day before my birthday less than a month after I left my boyfriend. It was very stressful, understandably, but also because of the paranoia I faced when it came to dealing with the will. My uncle and aunt were executors and they had their own lawyer that we used. But everyone kept telling me that they were trying to get the house that my father left to me. Another complication was that my father's girlfriend was living in the house with her three kids and I had to have them evicted, which I am still working through. I am only 25 and it's a lot to deal with. I worry about money every day because I don't know how I am going to be able to afford it. Plus my brother I think is a little mad because he said he thinks he should have gotten half of the house.
I have been dating someone ever since I left my abuser and he is really good except for the fact that he has panic attacks and some depression, which I know are not his fault, but sometimes I get angry because I feel helpless.
The reasons that I think I might possibly have C-PTSD are that I keep having dreams about my ex, ones in which I go back to him and he is hurting me, also dreams about my father (I never had dreams about him before) and dreams about my aunt and uncle. I also am almost always sad. Sometimes I am very anxious and nervous--on edge. I freaked out in a store a couple weeks ago, I just started to panic, but it wasn't a panic attack because there weren't any physical symptoms, only mental. I feel a lot of guilt and shame about everything and feel like I have no future despite the fact that people tell me I''m smart and a hard worker. Sometimes I don't know how to act in my new relationship because I am worried about getting hurt again so there are times when I worry about being taken advantage of, even though I know they are unfounded worries. I prefer to isolate myself and only hang out with my boyfriend, but this makes me feel like I did when I was with my abuser because at that time I was dependent upon my ex because he made me isolate myself. Please give me any help you can think of. Thank you for reading.

I could be PTSD, any abuse or trauma can cause this.
I have it, though it rarely shows itself anymore.
I think because you've been abused you should talk to someone.
If you have developed PTSD because of it- it's not hard to treat...
It's harder to talk about and understand things you are going through.

Hang in there.