How do I explain PTSD to boyfriend?

Hi!
I have PTSD following a terror atack. I am taking several medication and in intensive therapy with a psychologist. During the past year I had severe anxiety attacks and many flashbacks. I was unable to work. Now I am feeling a loty better and manage to work jpart time. Hopefully during the next few month I will be able to work normally.
I started dating a guy. He knows nothing of my difficulties. I talk about the things that I do. He is not disabled.
I dont know when and how to explain my PTSD to him. On one hand I dont want to scare him off. On the other hand I want him to understand my situation, because PTSD does have some effect on me.
Is it possible for someone with PTSD to marry someone normal?
How do I explain it without scaring him off?
how do I know and explain how my PTSD might effect our possible marridge?
If any of you out ther have some experience and ideas, I will appreciate it if you will write to me.
Thanks a lot,
Happyface

Hey, happyface! You could look for some material on PTSD to show him and even show him this forum, if you like. You should probably tell him that you want to talk about something and then tell him about what happened and how it makes you feel.. Then talk to him about ptsd and how being reminded of the trauma can cause these reactions but that you're still the person he cares about and you just needed to tell him about this. Also, say that you're getting better and that it won't change the way you feel about him.

Hi, I would explain to him asap. I was in a similar situation. Here is a link.
rape-trauma/topic33053.html
It is a long post. I am trying now to figure out what happened. Just the idea that you are asking if someone with ptsd can marry someone without it makes me wonder more about this. I, however, want to know all about it. This woman is my true love. If she would have let me know in the beginning about her issue maybe things would have been different. Maybe I could learn some things from you.

I'd first let him get to know YOU a bit before you mention the ptsd. It's a factor, but not the major part of who you are, so you don't want to give a first impression thats .. Inaccurate. WHO you are hasn't changed. You'll want to let the subject come up "naturally" (ie:as a natural part of the conversation) This avoids giving the topic some supwer monumental and intimidating air. Ya ever been laid off, terminated, in trouble at school? The "come to my office, we need to talk" emotion is what I mean.

When you do bring it up with him, make SURE its at a time when you're feeling relaxed, peacefull, etc. He's likely to ask about the event! Its a natural reaction, and can be risky if there are unresolved issues. Be as ready rto talk about the event as you can. THAT will calm any worries for him and let him fit the signs together



My PTSD is combat related, so its a bit different, but if you've ever seen the movie "three kings" you'll know the line. I explain that when going into a situation you put your mind on hold. The fear comes afterwards. With us, there are 'triggers' that bring us back emotionally to the event, and the feelings are dealt with in spurts, rather than a huge cataclysm.
Some questions and answers I commonly get may help...

Q. So do you like freak out at loud noises?
A. Only when you pull my finger.. And bangs make me jump sometimes

Q. Do you have nightmares?
A. Not anymore Starbucks opened a store in my building.. But sometimes I do. We ALL have them.

Q. Do you have those flashbacks?
A. Yeah, but the colors and swirls aren't as pretty as they say, and I get kinda grumpy about that.

Q. What was it like?
A. .. Depends on WHO is asking on how I answr that one. The events that contribute to my ptsd are actually pretty displaced. Combat in the (us) army, When I got arrested for drugs. (Detoxing in a 6foot by 4foot dark cell for 5 days is not a good memory). And the mall shooting in Omaha.

I agree,
When the time is right is the best time to bring this up.

hi happyface
there is a great book called the post traumatic stress disorder relationship writen by diane england, its aimed at partners who want to understand and support you, it even gives tips and explanations of the why?s and all sorts of questions people ask.
i would definately get some info in hand before u mention it to him, but if u are serious about him then the sooner he knows the better
good luck, and dont fear, its nothing to be ashamed of!

how are you getting on with recovering and getting over it all? do u feel u have enough help and support?