by okiedokie » Sun Jun 21, 2009 4:46 am
Hi Joey, I just want you to know that I am not mad at you. I just read some of your other posts, I am actually sorry for you. I think you have all the right to feel angry after what you went through. I had a good friend whos husband was in Iraq, al tho he died there. The first time he came back he had that blank 10,000 mile stare, you can see how mentally draining it was for him, as I am sure it was for you too. I dont agree with how your letting your anger out though. I know on my behalf I shouldnt have asked the public. I know that there are people who say things to be nice, that is what I was looking for actually. I know pathetic, you dont have to rub that in my face. I know you probably will say something nasty regarding this, but have a consideration that you are a stronger being then I. I'm sure that you probably handle stuff alot better then I ever will. It just mentally broke me thinking that I am going to be dying soon on such a terrible disease, the way he explained it was just terrifying. I am also sensitive to the fact that I am sure there were times while you was over there, that you though you'd not make it back, and faced the same damn death thought.(Difference being you was not thinking about dying on a disease someone gave you, yours would be more like getting taking a bullet) I am sorry though. I'm also sorry that you cant understand. I didnt want to be raped. That song was terrible thanks for telling me that "I'm worthless" I shouldnt have read them lyrics. I should've stopped after the first sentence. I hope that you understand that I didnt ask him to do that. I hope you know that it isnt fair to mentally hurt those who arent as strong minded and strong willed as you. I just cant handle stuff like this well. But thanks so much for making me feel twice as worthless with you song. I was not even a virgin with he raped me, noooo my damn dad took that away. He didnt even go to jail, a lot of court trials and he dont get no jail. So that was not the first time, I WAS RAPED JERK. It also was not the first time that I was raped by a black man, cause my fathers friend was black man. Well, I will just say that whenever my dad needed his drug supply, he got it free. I should just be a lesbian. But I dont want a woman, I want a man, a man who I will feel safe with. I just dont think that I will find one. But please dont be so hateful and hurtful to women that were hurt like that.