Could it be Anxiety or PTSD or just something simple?

Guns are a part of my job, I am a police officer. Thing is that recently I have been having anxiety attacks when attempting to go to the range to qualify. I have a hard time breathing and concentrating let alone shooting the target. I literally fall apart and have this intense desire to run away. Far away. If it not for my wife I would quit tomorrow.

I chalked it up to performance issues/anxiety but it has become so bad that I feel the anxiety at home, away from work when I am just thinking about guns and attempting to use it or work in general. (which is connected to the thought of guns.) It has effected my home life, sexual activity, sleep and daily "fun" activities.

I went to a job counselor about my issues but he seems to think its just job stress. I personally have never felt this way before and I have been working with guns for 19 years now. (never actually liked them, just tolerated them.) I can't "get over it" as he suggests.

I was wondering if a past event that occurred to me has somehow surfaced and is causing these problems...

A few years ago (2003) I was almost shot in a firearms training accident. If it was not for a metal door frame and God I would not be here today. I would have gotten shot in the head. Wood and glass blew out around me and I was stunned for a bit. I blocked the event out mostly and went about my work...but now it has recently surfaced in my last training class. (October 2008) When I think about it ... I get cold sweats, nervous and stressed. Can something that happened years ago effect me so much now?

Right now I have been on vacation but the thought of returning to work tomorrow has me on edge, annoyed and actually "scared" for some reason. I have been looking for other jobs just to take the edge off of this feeling of anxiety but this activity only works so well. Hopefully something will come of this job search.

Is it just me or do I need to seek real help?

The symptoms of PTSD can develop years after a traumatic event. So it's totally possible that you might be suffering from it. How traumatic was the training accident? Was it really no big deal or did it really scare the crap out of you? Hearing all the guns going off at the range can certainly bring everything out.

Who exactly is this 'job counselor'? Is there a police psych you could talk with? You may or may not have PTSD, and the only one who can tell you for certain is a doc. You might be able to grin and bear it just to pass qualifying. But if you truly have PTSD, you need to think ahead seeing as you're a police officer. You wouldn't want to freeze up or go to pieces in a situation where your life is on the line. Good luck with everything.

Incorrigible wrote:The symptoms of PTSD can develop years after a traumatic event. So it's totally possible that you might be suffering from it. How traumatic was the training accident? Was it really no big deal or did it really scare the crap out of you? Hearing all the guns going off at the range can certainly bring everything out.

Who exactly is this 'job counselor'? Is there a police psych you could talk with? You may or may not have PTSD, and the only one who can tell you for certain is a doc. You might be able to grin and bear it just to pass qualifying. But if you truly have PTSD, you need to think ahead seeing as you're a police officer. You wouldn't want to freeze up or go to pieces in a situation where your life is on the line. Good luck with everything.

The accident was in a way traumatic. I was literally inches a way from death but I felt at the time I could take the pressure and continue on with my job as normal. I thought it was no problem and I believe that was mistake. I should have got help at that time. There was no help in the office, the supervisor who accidentally shot the gun was forced to retire and they gave me a few days off. That was it.

Now a few years later the whole gun issue just causes a break down. Right now I am feeling the tension, a heaviness in my heart, short of breath just talking to you about it. Among other pressures of a police officer I now have these issues. Training is constant so this feeling of massive anxiety is ongoing, almost everyday.

The job counselor is a contracted counselor provided by our office's heath services office. He was not very impressive in my book. I went to my HMO and in one visit they diagnosed me with Anxiety Disorder and put me on medication. (Medication I believe could effect my job performance more then the anxiety is now.) We have no police counselor, we a small department.

Now I have a paranoia that I may be losing my job on top of it because of the entire problem. (I work for the U.S. Government)

I wish I knew where to go to discuss this issue with someone in the government but don't know where to go or who to talk too.

takaris7 wrote:Guns are a part of my job, I am a police officer. Thing is that recently I have been having anxiety attacks when attempting to go to the range to qualify. I have a hard time breathing and concentrating let alone shooting the target. I literally fall apart and have this intense desire to run away. Far away. If it not for my wife I would quit tomorrow.

I chalked it up to performance issues/anxiety but it has become so bad that I feel the anxiety at home, away from work when I am just thinking about guns and attempting to use it or work in general. (which is connected to the thought of guns.) It has effected my home life, sexual activity, sleep and daily "fun" activities.

I went to a job counselor about my issues but he seems to think its just job stress. I personally have never felt this way before and I have been working with guns for 19 years now. (never actually liked them, just tolerated them.) I can't "get over it" as he suggests.

I was wondering if a past event that occurred to me has somehow surfaced and is causing these problems...

A few years ago (2003) I was almost shot in a firearms training accident. If it was not for a metal door frame and God I would not be here today. I would have gotten shot in the head. Wood and glass blew out around me and I was stunned for a bit. I blocked the event out mostly and went about my work...but now it has recently surfaced in my last training class. (October 2008) When I think about it ... I get cold sweats, nervous and stressed. Can something that happened years ago effect me so much now?

Right now I have been on vacation but the thought of returning to work tomorrow has me on edge, annoyed and actually "scared" for some reason. I have been looking for other jobs just to take the edge off of this feeling of anxiety but this activity only works so well. Hopefully something will come of this job search.

Is it just me or do I need to seek real help?

Anxiety and PTSD go hand in hand most of the time. The fact that you felt you were through something traumatic could be PTSD and anxiety as well. I deal with both personally. I think you could benefit from seeking help and talking to someone.