Could I Have PTSD???

((( jamie )))

I think it's good that you can talk to your teacher. Don't give up on therapy. They are there to help you cause they are knowledgable on these topics, and they get paid to help someone, so don't rule it out yet. You've come very far for someone your age, so just keep trudging forward and beat down those walls when they approach you just like I have.

You can do it girl!

Hey,
Thanks so much. Today wasn't the best day for me. Our school had a variety show and the girl that was in the accident a week ago along with my brother's friend got up and talked, and so much of it that she said triggered me and I began to start thinking of my aunt. I was crying after school as I was walking out the door my vice-principal was walking in and he saw me crying, he asked if I was alright and I told him I was, he asked if I was sure and I said yeah I was sure. I really wasn't alright though, I just didn't want to say anything to him about it. I'm dealing with so much, and it was all just sort of coming out through me crying, but the thing is, it wasn't the first time I had been crying, I was crying quite a bit between the end of the variety show (about 15 minutes before school got out) and the time that I left and started to walk home (about 15 minutes after school was out). In a matter of half an hour I cried probably 5 or 6 times. I got home and started to write a poem, I'm on the second page, almost the third already and I'm not even close to being done with it.
Well, I gotta run.

~Jamie~

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time, and that you did have a bad time at school. Have you considered going into therapy not just for other stuff but for grief?

It's good that you are writting, i use to write alot when i was sad, depressed, confused etc and it has helped. I still write, not really poetry anymore but i journals and have kept them since i was 15... I hope you can purge out whatever is hurting you onto paper, are you doing better today?

Hey,
Things are going better today. I'm a little disappointed because I didn't get a job, but I sort of saw it coming.
Well, gotta go.

~Jamie~

Jamie

I know how that goes, but just look at it as practice. The more interviews you do the better you will get, I am having trouble finding a job too and have had my share of disappointments. Think of it this way.... There is a job waiting for you , maybe it happened for a reason that you didn't do this one? You are still young, so try and not worry about it too much. You have plenty of time.

Glad to hear you are doing well today.

Ok shower time, i'm slacking today... hehe

*hugs*

Hey,
Well, the reason I didn't get the job was because I exceeded the income guidelines. The jobs are for people 14 to 21 years old, but it's for low income, and I guess with my dad's income, my brother's income, and my grandma's retirement my family is not considered as low income. I am still looking. I need a job to earn money for a car because my dad is only going to give me $200 because that's all he gave my brother. He's going to pay for my registration and the first 6 months of insurance for me too though, so I guess that's alright.
Well, I'm still doing alright today. My friend told me I looked sad after school and I sort of was. I am sad that my brother's last day of school was today and also because I have had so much going on lately.
Well, gotta go.

~Jamie~

aww I see , well that makes sense then. It's good that you have goals, I didn't have many because when I was that age I was going through hell and back with school .... Glad you are seeing toward the future, good for you.

Hey,
Today isn't going as well as I'd like. I'm feeling horrible, although I'm feeling better than I have in the past few days. Things here are really starting to get hectic. It's exactly one week until my brother graduates, and we have a lot to get done in the next week.
I better get going for now.

~Jamie~

Remember chickie, we all have days like these. When you feel like this try to think of something postive to say either about what is going on today or something good about yourself. With your brother graduating it's bound to be a bit stressful with everything going on, just take it a step a time.

Thanks so much,
I can really see the stress levels rising for everyone here now. My dad is being really crabby like he is when he's stressed, I've gotten to the point that if any little thing frustrates me or makes me feel bad I wanna hurt myself(which I won't ever do again) and go and cry about it forever, my brother, well, he doesn't seem to give a care whether he graduates or not, and my grandma, well, she's just stressed out about everything lately, especially since the doctors told her that they were 99% positive that she has Parkinson's Disease, which we'll find out for sure tomorrow.
Today is going a little bit better, I guess. I'm hanging in there as well as I can right now. I can feel that school is close to getting out, and exams are approaching quite fast. I only have 7 mores days of school left and then I'm done until the end of August, which then I start my very strenuous(sp?) schedule because I'm taking 2 science classes, 10th grade English is at a college level, and I'm taking a few other classes as well, such as Geometry, World Geography, Choir, and Study Hall.
Well, I suppose, I better get going with my homework and such.

~Jamie~