Could I Have PTSD???

Hey,
Thanks so much. Well... I have written poem upon poem about my aunt, no matter how much I write it doesn't seem to ever get easier. I guess now I'm partially regretting not going to my aunt's funeral and I'm sad that my aunt isn't here to see my brother graduate this year. I don't know if I should say anything to my student teacher in English about what's been going on lately. She knows there's a lot that has been going on, but she doesn't know about the whole thing with my aunt.
Driving tomorrow is going to be really scary. I have been so out of it the past few days that isn't not even funny.
Well, gotta go.

~Jamie~

If you are having such a hard time with this then talking about it and actually getting it out will help you in the long run. It may not seem this way now, but it will. You haven't healed yet from your auntie's death... I know it's hard hon, just have to know she is in a better place, and believe that she is with you still to this day... She will always be with you.

Also- finding help to help with your anxiety and fear of driving could be something you might want to look into. No one wants to drive in fear that something will happen..... Have you thought about looking into that at all?

Take care hon.

Well,
Things are getting a little better now. Driving on Tuesday wasn't bad at all, I was really focused and wasn't worrying at all. I didn't even think about my aunt or anything like that when I was driving. I sort of talked to someone about everything. I've been talking to my student teacher that I had for English about a lot of stuff lately. She's been there for me a lot lately, and now that she's done student teaching I'm keeping in touch by e-mail.
Well, I have to get going.

~Jamie~

Good for you Jamie, that was a big step, and you did good.. Just take it a step at a time, and that's what you are doing... Good for you girl

Thanks so much,
the support is really helping me get through everything. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have people supporting me right now. I probably would be off in some place that I wouldn't want to be or else living with my mom again and never see my friends again. lol! I'm not saying that that's a bad thing, but I HATE it at my mom's and plus, I'd be in yet another school if I did change and I don't want that. I can't exactly say I can stand it here though either.
Anyways, I have to go.

~Jamie~

I'm glad that you are feeling better keep us posted, you know you'll always find support here. Take care.

Well,
Today wasn't as good as it could have been, but I guess that's not too bad. I didn't do quite as good as I would have liked to driving, but I didn't really do anything wrong either. I guess when I'm driving second I have time to think about stuff and start to get a little bit of panic coming over me. I got to drive through downtown though, so that was awesome, I also got to drive over the lift bridge, which I thought I would totally freak out on, but I did really well for the first time over it, I didn't freak out at all, I stayed very calm and even though it was a little confusing because of construction, I figured it out. I also got to practice angle parking. I now have 1 and 1/2 hours in driving, only 4 and 1/2 hours left until I get my permit!
Anyways, today in school I almost ended up fainting, again! It's been happening a lot to me lately. I'll be perfectly fine and then I'll just all the sudden get dizzy and feel like I'm going to collapse or if I'm sitting I feel like I'm falling. I don't know why this is happening, but it didn't happen at all until 2 days after my great uncle's funeral. It happened for the first time one day in study hall. About 10 minutes before class ended I was sitting doing my homework and then all the sudden I got dizzy, all the sounds and everything started blending together and then I felt like I was falling. I told my friend that has a panic disorder and the first thing she said was, "Welcome to my world, imagine having that happen to you every single day." It's been happening about every other day to me, it's really weird, but I haven't told anyone but a few of my friends about it, yet, and don't know if I'm going to tell anyone else.
Well, gotta go.

~Jamie~

Congradulations on the driving, you will be fine. You proved that.

As for the fainting. Could very well be anxiety, i've never fainted whenenver I had anxiety or panic, some people do, some people don't. If this continues though i'd go see the doctor and rule anything else out.

Another thing to do would be to write down what you were doing and thinking the minute you start to feel dizzy, did you get up too fast?

Then maybe you can pin point the cause. Take care hon.

Another thing to do would be to write down what you were doing and thinking the minute you start to feel dizzy, did you get up too fast?

The last few times when I got dizzy I was just sitting down in class, I put my head down for most of the hour to see if it would help, but it didn't help at all. The first time it happened all I was doing was working on my algebra homework and trying to figure out a problem. It's really weird, it is usually around the same time, except for the first time and on Saturday or Sunday night, it's usually during 2nd hour, the first time was during 4th hour, and on Saturday or Sunday it was late, I was laying in bed when it happened. Surprisingly enough, today it's a little off as well, it didn't hit me until after I got home from school.
Well, gotta go.

~Jamie~

hmm, I'd go to your doctor and mention these spells to him. If they are happening that much, it could be stress or anxiety, but better to get checked out anyways....espeically if they keep occuring.