Having A Hard Time With PTSD

The other night I was awake almost the entire night having nightmares, night terrors, and panic attacks. I'm on Prazosin but it doesn't always work. I know it's because I started reading books about Narcissistic and Sociopathic abuse. I finally have vocabulary words, concepts, and an understanding of what I endured with family, ex-romantic partners, and even ex-friends. I'm a magnet for these kinds of people because I am an HSP and empath. I feel like I constantly have to have walls up just to protect myself from these kinds of people.

It's very difficult for me to associate love, family, and friendship with positive thoughts and feelings, and it's hard for me to trust people. I carry a lot of grief inside from these wounds of betrayal, abuse, neglect, and emotional abandonment. No matter how hard I try to heal, find closure, or let go and move on, I feel stuck. I should say, I've found peace with a lot of my ex-partners and friends, but when it comes to family, it's a lot harder to let that one go. A lot harder to forgive. That's where I am really struggling, with my family. I have done a lot of healing with everyone else.

Right now, I have no one to talk to, and a million thoughts in my head, trying to process recent and past traumas. I don't currently have a therapist, it's a waiting list issue. Is anyone else here a Survivor of this type of abuse and what has helped you? What are your thoughts about forgiving and moving on?