Permission to remember...

As you may or may not be aware I'm seeking help at the moment for childhood trauma.

I've only been having the anxiety about this trauma for the past couple of years and it's been almost debilitating and caused me many problems in my personal life.

Anyway the therapy is still in the early stages but I've already started have memories of things that I really couldn't remember before. In fact it's been interrupting my sleep and making me have anxiety and nightmares.

So this morning I was thinking about all of this and it's like as though for many years I wouldn't allow myself to remember things because how could I when there was no one in my life who I could tell these things to and now because I'm getting help, It's like I've been given permission to remember.

It's not full memories but just little flashes but it's there. Im not gonna lie, it's a scary process but it'll be ######6 interesting to find out what exactly happened to me back then and who the twisted ###$ was that did it.

Manners73 wrote:As you may or may not be aware I'm seeking help at the moment for childhood trauma.

I've only been having the anxiety about this trauma for the past couple of years and it's been almost debilitating and caused me many problems in my personal life.

Anyway the therapy is still in the early stages ... really couldn't remember before. In fact it's been interrupting my sleep and making me have anxiety and nightmares.

So this morning I was thinking about all of this and it's like as though for many years I wouldn't allow myself to remember things because how could I when there was no one in my life who I could tell these things to and now because I'm getting help, It's like I've been given permission to remember.

These memories can and usually do cause significant pain. When we are alone or feel alone, why subject yourself to such pain. We have become conditioned to survive and keep it behind us. The no once cares feeling.

I think knowing that someone cares, even if that care is professional help, allows us to start sifting through the junk and hopefully find answers many of us seek.

I

She said I've developed separate personalities and they are what stop me from remembering stuff. I don't know how she's going to get past these personalities because they are really strong and aggressive.