How can I get over my trauma when I don’t remember it

How can I get better from all the trauma that I have experienced (I’m talking hundreds of events starting from when I was really young) when I have blacked out probably 90% of what has happened and only have an extremely vague recollection of things happening, and even then I don’t really know what???? I’m sick of having flashbacks that don’t make sense. I think back to my high school bullying and while it hurts and I get swept right back there I can’t really remember anything truly significant that happened. Same with most of my life... But I’m only in my early 20’s and this stuff has impacted on me so much so it bothers me immensely that I can’t talk about it and move on. and I feel that it’s hopeless to even try therapy again because how can I talk about what I don’t remember? I’m never going to get better.

talk therapy is not the only approach that helps. by now there are a lot of different techniques to trauma therapy that can cause you to get better and reduce symptoms even if you don't have access to all of your memories.

sometimes body-focussed approaches like sensorimotor therapy, somatic experiencing, concentrative movement therapy or even trauma-sensitive yoga can help. they are mostly non-verbal and don't need you to know your full trauma history.

EMDR can also be used with fragments of experience, including emotional states or body sensation. it doesn't require whole scenes. The bilateral stimulation often reduces dissociative barriers, that means that you might get access to memories you used to dissociate. this is one way to recover memories without using hyponosis.

it is not unusual for people to start to remember more over time. You are still young. Memory often comes up as you develop a tolerance for knowing things.

if you can find a skilled trauma therapist they can teach you all kinds of exercises and techniques to manage your flashbacks and regulate yourself. it is worth trying. you obviously don't need to know any details to show the symptoms of PTSD. and you don't need to know the details to learn how to cope with these symptoms.
Don't give up hope. There is a lot that can be done to help.

Excellent advice form Birdsong,

birdsong87 wrote:
it is not unusual for people to start to remember more over time. You are still young. Memory often comes up as you develop a tolerance for knowing things.

What we have found here time and again that around late 20s to late 40s is when it starts to come back, often with a triggering event, something at the time quite innocuous. With me 35, so right in the middle of that range, and the again at 46.
I can now remember stuff with amazing clarity that I had previously shoved right down.

I deal with this as well, and honestly, therapy was a joke in my opinion, they just throw drugs at you until you are so sedated you can't function, it's really sad and I think healing should be ... more honest and less about making money off the mentally ill...

as far as knowing you had trauma that you can't remember, I have that too, only little flashbacks of stuff that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, some stuff people told me happened that I can kinda remember but not really, and honestly i'd rather not remember some of the sick stuff I had to go through as a child , i mean i'm screwed up enough remembering the stuff i do remember, maybe my brain understands that it's too much for me to handle, or maybe i was just too young to really comprehend and remember , there is the.... "regression therapy" option, but man, theres no way i wannna relive stuff like that, no way.