I ran a red light today

I think I have ptsd but haven’t been diagnosed and therapy is just opening up cans of worms I was barely ready for.

Today after being triggered by a friend who I vented to about my sexual assault, knew about the way in which it destroyed me, and how I became hyper sexual as a cause of it and extremely depressed because I had to let him go free on circumstantial evidence.

He knew it all,
And was there for me, then asked me to have sex with him for the third time that I declined like a broken record saying that I wanted a relationship if I were to ever have sex again.
After it my chest started hurting, as I was in shock, and threw my phone, that proceeded with crying. I was driving, and then all of a sudden I snap back into it and I’m in the middle of the street with the light being dead red.
Couple things-
Was this a flashback, or just normal reaction and if it was why did being asked for sex trigger one.

I had a similar experience few years back. I was working for a company as an intern. Upon realization that I was working a full time job for a derisory salary, I asked for a pay rise. The HR, who was the CEO's wife, met with me and tried to guilt me into keeping the current salary using all kinds of abusing verbal tactics. My mind went blank, I just left the room in direction of my computer, livid, without a word, leaving her to her monologue. She went right to her husband's office to complain and they fired me on the spot.

I was so shocked by the unfairness of it all that, after this episode, I had a few emotionally erratic hours.

Sitting here looking back, I know that I just hated what was being done to me, that it reminded me of treatments I received when I was little, and that instead of processing my emotions I went to automatic settings in some sort of flight-freeze manner, my emotions spurting out messily in the aftermath.

Nowadays I would react differently but again looking back, and without smartassing you, I find that my reaction was the normal reaction of someone who's been abused.

Disassociation -can be the default setting with triggers.

I am sorry about what happened. The bad stuff keeps bouncing around.

I feel bad departing further from your topic Nohone, but the description of your episode brought more memories today on my side.

I just remembered that before leaving the premises, the CEO and his wife had me come to his office. They wanted me to sign some papers stipulating that I had made the decision to leave on my own, so as not to pay me the wage they'd owe for the remnant of the month and protect themselves from legal issues, since they were legally bound to give me a notice. The papers were in a foreign language, since I was living abroad, that to this day I do not speak.

I refused so the guy pretended reaching out for his phone, threatening to call the cops. I left the room again and went looking for my stuffs in order to leave for good. But this time they were waiting for me in the hallway, the man, brandishing the papers, was vociferating something about calling his lawyers...

Anyway I don't mean to minimize the traumatic experience that happened to you by evaluating it against mine. I just find it striking how much it impacted me at the time versus if it happened now. It strikes me today that some clowns really aren't worth dissociating over, although it may take a while to reach this conclusion.