Drugs and CA PTSD

Now I stay away from Therapists and Pysch professionals. I get frustrated, and that leads to me be unhappy or worse. So I have gone it alone.

My thoughts on "these drugs will help" .. attitudes.

I have suffered from explosive rage (not a PTSD issue) Hyper vigilance, Hyperarousal and nightmares up to an advanced age. 10 years ago diagnosing a child abuse survivor with PTSD was unheard of or it seemed that way in Australia.

Now many years later, people still like to offer advice on trying drugs to help.I don't suffer from depression. My brain does not need dopamine turned on.

I don't know of any drug that helps hyper arousal or hyper vigilance. If someone knows of one please chime in. My wife would love to know.

I have battled self esteem my entire life. I have a constant undercurrent of anger. I am negative cynical and always look for the worst in people. and amazing how often I find it. On bad days I wish I was never born. That would be maybe 1/3 of my week. I only look forward to the future as it always gets better. I stay around as I owe it to my family. They need me. People may say I suffer from depression.

My answer is if they can give me a pill that will give me memories of happy birthdays, playing sport, happy Christmases, holidays, having clothes that fitted and were not very dated hand me downs, playing with kids after school, having enough to eat without stealing it, being able to sleep in my bed without fear, then sure .......sign me up.

But don't tell me I am depressed until you have lived my life and come out of it all smiles and if you did that, I think you would be way more messed up than I ever was.

Terry, I don't have a response or knowledge regarding drugs, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all you've been through. You're a good person in spite of all that. Maintaining any kind of normalcy after that kind of abuse is mainly hard work. They don't give out awards for people who fight back from abuse, it's mostly a hidden process. What negative aspects do surface are only the tip of the iceberg, but it's what people tend to see without understanding the very large effort to achieve some kind of happiness.

So when you look at yourself, I hope you'll see that despite all the issues, you're a huge success. Maybe not the kind that most people can appreciate, but we do here, for sure. That 1/3 of the week you wonder if you should be here is just the iceberg doing what it does, but the answer is an unequivocal YES! Maybe the best defense against the iceberg is the realization that it doesn't have to rule you. You've clearly bested it for many years now, even if it doesn't seem that way at times. That's something to appreciate and respect about yourself, to enjoy and to be happy about. It means a lot, not just to you but your family and all the people you've helped as well.

avatar123 wrote:
Maintaining any kind of normalcy after that kind of abuse is mainly hard work. They don't give out awards for people who fight back from abuse, it's mostly a hidden process. What negative aspects do surface are only the tip of the iceberg, but it's what people tend to see without understanding the very large effort to achieve some kind of happiness.

That is very good. It is not easy, it is so much harder for us and you are right, people only notice the quirks, not all the effort to overcome them. I sometimes think it makes us try harder, we are much harder to embarrass and are used to being knocked back. When I was 17 I stuck my foot in the door of one of two elite Olympic Weightlifting gyms in Sydney. Between them they had over 1/2 the states OL bars. I had been training on a cheap 5 foot steel bar in a tin shed at home for a little over a year. They only took kids at 14, but I went there, 40 minutes train ride each way and two mile walk each way. He asked a few questions and said come back Saturday. The other kids there laughed at me. I was almost 6 feet tall and weighed about 143lbs. I came back he watched, and I stayed on and off for three years, the only Anglo in a club of southern Europeans, and became 3rd best JR OL in Australia. Normal people don't do that. Surviving what I had, made me very patient, very persistent, and very determined. Being teased laughed at, ridiculed (child abuse and bullying at school always seem to go hand in hand) fired an anger to drive me to achieve


You've clearly bested it for many years now, even if it doesn't seem that way at times. That's something to appreciate and respect about yourself, to enjoy and to be happy about. It means a lot, not just to you but your family and all the people you've helped as well.

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, if my wife sees me slipping she starts listing my achievements.

My answer is if they can give me a pill that will give me memories of happy birthdays, playing sport, happy Christmases, holidays, having clothes that fitted and were not very dated hand me downs, playing with kids after school, having enough to eat without stealing it, being able to sleep in my bed without fear, then sure .......sign me up.

I'll take that pill too, Terry.

It' s incredible but it helps me the hyperic. But not all brand are good.