please help im 16 and confused

Ive had some pretty traumatic things happen in my life, dad died when i was a baby mom has head injury, lived with grandma and then found her unconsious and now live with my uncle. At times i feel so so sad. But other times i feel so happy. Before i go to bed or when im jsut alone everything that has ever happened to me rushes through my head and it can be so overwhelming. Why does this happen? Is this anxiety? I wish i could just explain it better. For the majority im happy.. its jsut those certain moments i feel so unhappy. I sometimes cut when it gets too.. i dont know i wish i could desrbe it better. My mom is in a nursing home right now for confusion so thats been adding to it. I feel happy but deep down i feel so.. bothered and unhappy. My life right now for the most part is great.. i have friends and family that love me its just.. one thing after another i guess. I'm thinking of getting counseling but i dont have the money. I'd just like to start off knowing what this is:-/

counselling does seem like a good idea, after all you've been through.
My doctor put me on a waiting list for counselling (6 NHS sessions given free) while I was on a waiting list for cognitive behavioural therapy. The counselling took 6 months to come through, the cbt 2 and a half years.

You may have to wait, find out if there's a local list where you live. Your doctor should be able to tell you and put you on the list.

Good luck!