Losing a Loved One

Recently I was put on a 5250, and after leaving, I joined an outpatient group. In this group, I would like to get to the root of my issues, and get sober.

My expectations were that my SO would be supportive, but she says she likes the old me better. That I have been too depressed and that my trauma happened when I was a child and that I need to get on with my life.

My thoughts are to leave her, but I've trusted her more than anyone else in my life, and it hurts to let go. I know what I need to do, but maybe I'm looking for someone to talk me out of it.

i'm really sorry that she doesn't understand and isn't supporting you here..

Can I ask.. has your SO had a rough past herself?
It's just that whenever I've been told to quit whining and just get on with things by people, I've noticed that they're the people who don't allow themselves to pay attention to their own feelings and trauma history.. rather they block it out and use the whole ''pull your socks up and get on with it'' routine with themselves and others..

I'm not going to talk you out of leaving her if that's what you really want to do.. but, if she'd go to a few therapy sessions with you and listen to why you need to deal with your past and stop running from it/blocking it out - there may be a chance of working things out.. what do you think?
xx

She does, in the distant past and more recently, too. I never thought about it from that perspective. I just thought "I need help and she is interfering"

I'll talk to her before making any huge changes. Maybe she will understand, maybe not. It feels a lot less doom and gloom thinking about it now. Seabreeze, you rock at this stuff. I may still have to make the split, but an honest communication about our needs seems easier now.

You're more than welcome.. communication can be so difficult if one person holds the ''don't speak about bad stuff'' idea but sometimes talking everything through can be helpful.
I hope this is the case for you two
xx

How are things going between the pair of you now?

Things are going well now. She is very understanding and supportive.

I started on a book, called the ptsd workbook. It got me really depressed because I realized I have no sense of identity.

My therapist gave me an exercise to work on, before getting into the book. I write down "I believe..." statements. Like, I believe white walls open up a room. And go on like that with a stream of consciousness/whatever you think of pattern, and it gets very deep after a while.

It's a way to get to know yourself. And I'm very glad to have someone supportive while I work on this. If we aren't together at the end of this, at least we'll always be friends.

I'm really glad things are a bit better now - support is absolutely essential in working through this stuff (:

That workbook sounds really tough but interesting.. finding a sense of self and identity is difficult but i like the idea of those ''I believe'' statements..
I've heard of doing that somewhere before and it sounds like it's a really useful starting point in working out what your core is and can be once the trauma is worked through.. I struggled for many years with having no idea of who i was - i'd struggled for so long just trying to survive that building a sense of self hadn't been possible..
I didn't even know what sort of programmes I enjoyed on tv back then or what values I had.. your therapist sounds really helpful.
xx