almost here

The trip to Wyoming is getting closer and I feel like I'm falling apart; I'm commited to go now but I am so scared. The flashbacks have already started and I can't sleep at night. My therapist and husband sy I should'nt go but I have to. I can't let my kids miss out on this oppurtunity. I know the only way I'm going to beable to handle this is through SI. I have'nt done it for over two weeks, but I feel that it's the only thing I can do to get rid of the nightmares and feelings of dread and, well I can't even explain the feelings that I'm having. Any ideas on how to get over this? Do you think that these emotions and flashbacks could be triggered by something else.
Enola

Hang in there honey. I think the more that you think that you will have the worst time there then it will happen. I know there will be memories for you just probably the word Wyoming triggers you, just like certain things do me.

Remember you are safe hon no matter what, keep telling you this, he is dead and can no longer hurt you. You'll have people around you, and you will come back and say I did it and I conqured, don't let him control you anymore by letting this fear go on. Hang in there, you're stronger then you know, stay safe.

Your right, I need to think positive and try to have a good time despite my other selves. I have made an agreement to myself to be safe on this trip. He is not going to control my life forever; I hope
Enola