Some lines of my book about the mind of an abuser

This is a piece of a book I have written. What do you think of it? It is about a tormented man who fantasizes about torturing the girl he loves (or better said, the girl he's obsessed with). He hurt her emotionally and in this piece he is explaining how despite his evilness, he felt remorse:

"Hurting her emotionally was like being in chains, forced to observe her torment. The thing that horrifies me the most is that the one harming her was just a reflection of myself, and I couldn’t do anything to save her from that exact part of me. Now, the images still repeat endlessly on the screen of conscience. It’s like watching the same scene over and over again, going through the same old trauma, you are directly involved, but in the role of an abuser and not in the one of the abused. One part of me wants to break free, destroy the prison I’m living in, the other one feels satisfied and would like to experience more, this time even more violent maybe, this time with physical pain."

Do you think it is effective enough? Cruel? Would you understand it is in reality some sort of autobiographical psychological self-analyses?