Schizophrenia- Onset of madness

Schizophrenia, a stigma,
Do I have one anyway?
Is it a symptom of the condition?
Or has my mind gone astray?
A plethora of hallucinations,
A combination of illusion,
A combo of method and actions,
How long will it take for it to go away?
Look back in time and the signs seem clear,
But is it a method of mind control,
Or telepathy, all too weird?
Try to live outside the mind but the voices keep me in,
Lock the door,
Melt the keys,
Just accept it, live in sin.
You’re a child,
A crack addict,
A loony toon,
Here, have a free ###$,
And be on your way, none too soon!
Stares from the car,
And on the street,
Voices match,
You gotta believe me,
A ringing in my ear,
My mind is living in agony!
Had an experience, all to odd,
Reinforcing doubt in my head,
They smoked weed I stepped aside,
Than the sounds of joviality rang throughout the park,
Wanted to go there, join the festivities,
Strange in itself,
But abruptly the party stopped, all the voices lost in the ether,
Than we asked about the party and the guy didn’t know either.
Were my friends and I schizophrenic, hearing the same hallucination,
Or was it all for naught, the experience made up in fear?
It doesn’t really matter anyway, people talk out loud,
Weaving the references to me in their sentences,
Acting proud,
A victory over me,
Not quite adversity,
Using their phrases,
Getting weak,
Referring to me as some kind of freak,
Reading my thoughts,
And reacting accordingly,
With a laugh,
With a phrase,
Gone on so long it isn’t a phase.
What except telepathy explains the stares,
The references on TV or instant visceral reaction
To my presence,
To the sight of watching me drive,
And the voices wishing I weren’t alive,
The thought once occurred to me when I was a child,
That I was some sort of experiment, or alien,
Made me proud,
Same feeling at the school I attended before the madness set in,
That we were rats in a cage, waiting for the doctors gloved hands,
And the needle to sink in our flesh,
Except the experiment wasn’t everybody,
The experiment was in MY mind, see?
Another dangle in front of my head,
A week before everything happened,
Asked if I believed in ESP,
A warning, or maybe a placebo instead,
Didn’t think anything of it at the time,
But now the experience is repeating,
Ringing bells in my mind,
And hoping that maybe,
Just maybe,
He lied.