My Poem : beneath it all

Beneath It All

I’m a ###$ up clown
Pulling off make-up to reveal the scream
I’m born to drown
Left behind tearing through this dream

Indifference part of the cause
Eating at my lungs burning up the skin
Heartless my only loss
Hopes and dreams they begin to thin

###$ you I’m hopeless
Describe what I see
I didn’t want this
This cant be me

Smear it all away
It covers the scars made by lies
Please, just let it stay
It covers all that starts my cries

This feel like it isn’t real
I’m made of dreams I’m just a fake
Then why does this make me feel
Like the voices in my mind
###$ up everything that they don’t take
They’re stealing my sanity
I’m becoming insane I need serenity
I put on the make-up I wear the mask
Though the screaming beneath seems to last
I’m nothing but a fake

Skin closed it cant breathe
Hiding what should never be seen
All it does is deceive
It becomes what should never have been

I’m all you see, the mask hides the real me

this is really good....i like the analogy of the make-up

sometimes I do wonder if people ever see past the face that is presented to them? Not enough people look past that and it's such a pity, I find.
But please don't feel like you're a fake. those who cannot look inside are more fake than you'll ever be. It's a beautiful poem though...it rings with truth.
x x x Harri

That's beautiful. You say so many things that I can relate to. You feel a lot things that I feel. I'm not saying we are exactly a like or anything like that, but I do feel like you would be able to understand me if I ever sat down and talked to you. I would love to meet you, but I doubt that will ever happen. The only thing that I don't like about reading your poetry, is that it's painful. I wish there was something that I could do to ease your pain away. I haven't been nearly as depressed for the past month, but wow, not too long ago I was in a terrible mess, and the worst part was that no one knew. No one ever wants to know how I'm really doing. No one can see through my mask. And it hurts to bottle up all of my emotions and carry them around with me, especially when I have to hide them. Sometimes I feel completely fake. Some days, i just sit down and think, and I realize that no one really knows me. And it hurts so bad. But I'm the one to blame for at least 75% of it. I just will not open up. I tried to open up to this one guy, but I could tell that he never really cared. He didn't want to hear it. IT wasn't important to him. THen I felt embarrassed and I beat myself up for ever opening up at all to him. So I decided that I would no longer open up to anyone unless they basically invited me to. And no one ever invites me to. But I couldn't take having no one to open up to, so I came to this website, and I found that it helped me a lot. It didn't at all make all of my problems go away, but it helped me to just deal with them. I have no clue where I'd be now, if I had never found this website. I finally discovered that I'm not the only one who has the thoughts that I have, and I'm not the only one who feels the things that I feel.

Sorry for rambling on and on here, but sometimes I just get carried away.

Take care,

~element

ive been in that situation you discribed many a time.. i still feel like im alone, even though i see others that are similar to me, i still feel alone..

but know that you can always talk to me if you need 2, ill try my best to be there for you.

That's sweet of you.

I'm sorry that you feel alone. I do know how that feels. I hope maybe I can help you a little not to be so lonely. Do you have any friends,neibors,family members that you talk to a lot?

i ahve 2 people i talk 2 about me.. and who in turn talk to me about them, like supporting eachother (fun thing is both are girls)

and ofcourse this forum (wich i didnt count to people i talk 2)

friends i dont believe in, i see people and almost everything i do as something to fill up my time, this includes going to school, going out... hell everything...

sorry, but I have to go for a little while. I'll try to get back to you as soon as I can though!

Hi.

i ahve 2 people i talk 2 about me.. and who in turn talk to me about them, like supporting eachother (fun thing is both are girls)

I can see how that would make it more fun. I love talking to guys, and hugging them. lol

friends i dont believe in, i see people and almost everything i do as something to fill up my time, this includes going to school, going out... hell everything...

That saddens me. Why don't you believe in friends. Do you know what a friend is? I want to be a friend to you.

~element

a friend to me is someone who id trust my life 2.. nothing more nothing less...

i have no friends... i have people i hang out with, people i talk 2, people i have fun with.. but no friends

i can be your friend if you want 2.. but i m sorry to say i cant say youll be my friend.. but know friend is just a title.. youll be everything to me a "friend" is but i wont call you friend thats all

i hope you understand

I think I understand. I'D REALLY LIKE THAT SMILEY THAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT BEFORE!!! Sorry.

You know I was thinking about it, and I think you should read this. My mom fowarded it to me, and I thought you should read it.

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1.There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just
like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like
you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude
remarks.