If heaven was around the corner

If heaven was around the corner, I could drive to there and back
I'd take no guests and return alone, maybe then I could relax
Never said goodbye I want to now, Pray God can show me how
I can't even bring myself to even type, I want to leave this life.

Claire, I want to see your face, why did you end yourself?
I wish that there was just some way, some way I could have helped.
I hope you're there in heaven now, but can't see me in this pain
I want to be reunited with you, to be a family again

I'm sick of this, I want to die, but maybe then again
I stick around because I would never want, someone else to feel this pain.

My life will never be the same again, and I hate the word survivor
Because I died that day along with you, my life isn't worth a fiver

This is my heart poured, written in rhyme, I hope one day I'll find
Not what I lost that day, I've lost my love, but the pieces of my mind.

I want to stop, but this poem won't stop, it's almost writing itself
If I suicide I hurt other people, but I wish I had a gun up on my shelf