Anyone out there

Hi everyone. I hope you enjoy my stuff. It's nice to share with people who understand. I am so lost right now having just come down from a 6 month Manic Episode. I think I am still in denial that I am never going to see her again. She was and always will be the greatest part of my life and an inspiring force that is undefinable to me. She is my lifeline when my illness pulls me into the darkness and she is the drug that fuels my mania. I think the song With or Without You is the best way to describe it. I am so screwed. Its been 20 years and her eyes and her smile feel like they have encapsulated me forever. This is the kindest most compassionate woman I have ever known and I chased her away with a love that is impossible to return. I will keep writing if you keep reading. Thank you and if you need someone to talk to I am incredibly altruistic. I can see souls.

She is an incredibly private person so I am at a crossroads on whether I should finish my book or not.

I am beginning to notice that people are more interested in the darkness so I will give you what you want to see. Here we go!

-- Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:29 am --

Most would think that removing oneself from the fire would be an unconscious act. But like me you have come to know the burning. You have developed an intimacy with it, like an abusive lover that makes the ecstasy more desirable.

tragedy bears no witness to whom which immunity is granted
to those that are, they cease to be human.

Someday you'll wonder if my time in the light has changed me.
Does this metamorphosis make it all better.
I can't tell you now, because I am still here.