Just a dark little poem

My world is shrouded in darkness. My mind on the psychotic carousal broken down into an eternal ride into the eerie midnights of my mind. This mind is a demented horror house blackened with the malice of Alice. Either that or adrift the steady flow down the stream of my melancholy. As I drift, so does my mind into its darkest, most daunting of pits. Hop across and play on the discombobulated melancholy spooky plaything with me, then board this ship into the infinite recesses of this unsteady mind.....

*opinions very welcome !

Ok first thing, don't post a wall of text! sorry but it's really hard to read all together.

try like this.

My world is shrouded in darkness.
My mind on the psychotic carousal broken down into an eternal ride into the eerie midnights of my mind.
This mind is a demented horror house blackened with the malice of Alice.
Either that or adrift the steady flow down the stream of my melancholy.
As I drift, so does my mind into its darkest, most daunting of pits.
Hop across and play on the discombobulated melancholy spooky plaything with me, then board this ship into the infinite recesses of this unsteady mind....

I get the imagery but the emotion seems to be lacking except for the second last line.
It's not bad but needs a little push towards good. clean it up and lose or change some of the wording to make it cleaner and a better balance of vision and emotion. those are my main suggestions on a quick read. see what you can do with what I have said