Tywerz' poetry *TW*

TRIGGER WARNING

Listen, God



Listen, God
I was running a cash register at my job and Lucifer came through.
You know, with his gluten free diet and what not
But yeah, he told me you’re pulling some $#%^ with him.
Knock it off
Seriously, I’ll send some of my home dawgs after you.

Listen, God
You know Jim, right?
The guy that lives in my head
You borrowed twenty dollars from him to buy a cheap video game
Pay him back, you bum

Listen, God
Lay off the pot
I mean Jesus Christ (oops, sorry, too soon?)
I went by your house and that’s all I could ######6 smell
I could smell it with my windows up

Listen, God
I saw you got a tramp stamp of your girlfriend’s name
Seriously, dude, that $#%^’s permanent
And you could have given Jim his twenty dollars instead of getting it
Seriously, God, you’re too good for her

Listen, God
You’ve got to get your life together
I mean you’re living off of the government
And you’re not getting your WIC checks after Jesus was… well, you know.
But, God, man, at least give Jim his twenty dollars.

TRIGGER WARNING

I Hate You All


By Tyler


I hate you all
I’m the guy who poops in your cheerios
I’m the guy who burns down your first home
I’m the guy who goes to an opera with a cold
Just so my coughs, sneezes, and consistent nose blowing can piss everyone off

I hate you all
I’m the guy who calls your grand mother a @@@@@@@
I’m the guy who calls Beethoven a talentless hack
I’m the guy who switches around your chess pieces when you’re not looking
Just to see you go through the miseries of losing

I hate you all
I’m the guy who will snap your new CD in half
I’m the guy who keys your car
I’m the guy who will ###$ your dead sister
Just to gross you out

I hate you all
And just remember
When Judgment day comes
I’ll be at Lucifer’s side
Laughing as you all die

You're funny.

Twinkling Butterfly wrote: You're funny.

Oh, teh tank youz. It is very appreciated. Yes yes.

You're welcome. (:

Where do these characters come from? Are they based on people you know? Do you hallucinate them? Dream of them? Just think them up?

Twinkling Butterfly wrote:Where do these characters come from? Are they based on people you know? Do you hallucinate them? Dream of them? Just think them up?

Lord Ruubewtz is my friend Robert. He's on this website, under the user-name of p0ster

Jim is the name I've given to the male voice that talks to me every now and then, so he is a "real" hallucination

Those are my only two characters in my poetry. I do have other characters in my novels though. Yes yes.

Maybe I'll introduce you to some of my characters sometime.

I'd like that ^_^
Maybe I'll introduce you to some of my novel characters then too! X3

This is a story about an experience I had at a family party a few years ago

____________________________________________________



Hello, Balloon

By Tyler


I arrived at the party early in the afternoon
It was a birthday party for a family member
Other family was there
But so was someone else.

“Hello, Balloon” I said.
“Hello, sir” it says back.
I pick Balloon up
I bounce him around in my hands.

He was an orange balloon
Call me prejudice, but I like orange balloons
At least more than yellow ones
Though I treat all balloons equally

I eat with balloon beside me
I play my 3DS with balloon beside me
I relax with balloon beside me
Balloon was with me for a couple hours.

The family was here, it was time to start the party
I went to go find balloon
But wait
Balloon was gone

“Balloon! Where are you, balloon?!” I scream in a panic
It was a small room, where could he have gone?
I give up hope, I cry
But alas, balloon finds me

“I’m sorry, Tyler.” He says
“I was getting some hotdogs
And Mountain Dew”
Balloon has to eat too.

Balloon introduces himself to the family
They all agree that orange balloons are nice
My uncle is even prejudice against non-orange balloons
But balloon didn’t seem to mind

Then came time for us to pack up
Balloon doesn’t have arms or legs
He can’t help, but only keep company.
We did give him some food to take home though

It was time to say good bye, for now at least.
“Good bye Balloon. Where will you go?”
“I’ll stay here, Tyler. I live in this building.”
“Good bye Balloon. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.”

Balloon called me the next day on my house phone
Balloon and I are going to go out to eat sometime
He shops at the grocery store I work at
Balloon and I are friends for life.