"A Crow" and "Voices Around Me"

I used to really enjoy writing poetry and have written a large amount of poems, but have been inactive for quite some time. I wish to return to it very soon, but I'm afraid I'm quite rusty as of now.
These two poems are ones I had written back in my high school years, they are quite light in intensity and emotion compared to my other darker and depressing poems, but I thought I'd start by sharing them.

A Crow
He gazed at me,
gaiety deprived, from what I can see.
I was confused,
for he did not look too amused.

Silent chatter,
to him, it did not matter.
The glare,
it was still there.

He was dark,
though no one would dare remark.
Death was near,
when he was here.

It doesn't seem right.
for I can't fight.
The gentle fire,
able to engulf a liar.

The crow went for the kill,
I stood still.
Behind me, blood gushed,
all too quick and rushed.

The indelible mark was left,
from the terrible theft.
But, he was no where in sight,
as he vanished in flight.

Voices Around Me
I'm dreaming in the day,
at night, I'm awake in full sway.
The voices mutter to me.
Photos.Holidays.Friends.Freaks.
I can touch the sounds that I see,
as they tease me in glee.
Some familiar, some not known,
this voice is the only moan.
I try to communicate.
Can you hear me?
They don't indicate.

The ruckus continues,
intervening my muse.
It's a symphony of joy and gladness,
while my ballad is dead from the madness.
Once in every illusion,
the conductor dictates the actions,
the signal for silence.
The voice plays Marco Polo,
as everyone has to try and follow.
Except for me,
for this was the ballad,
for the sad sea.
My own voice.

It's slowly fading,
the facade.
The voice trapped inside the cage,
waiting to be unleashed,
onto the stage.
The voices come back.
All merry-go-round for all.
All except for mine.
I see it in a sombre stare.
It wants to be released from my care.
The voices say farewell,
out of the threshold of the dwell.

But this voice can only be heard,
inside my brimmed hollow head.

Not a bad pair of poems. I personally don't like rhyming couples, though don't take that as a criticism it's just a personal taste and having them rammed down my throat throat through out school.

maybe tighten your structure a little so the rhythm is a little more consistent but other than that you are on your way to a good start.

I've not written in 10 years and am posting here to see if I can get myself back into it, the problem is that the medications I take seem to block that part of the creative process. the emotions that drove my writing are not there as much, this is actually a good thing as they were very negative.

I can say this, you have a good grip on style, keep going with it and read some dedicated poetry sites to see if you can find some hints to where you want to go

theonlyredsmurf wrote:Not a bad pair of poems. I personally don't like rhyming couples, though don't take that as a criticism it's just a personal taste and having them rammed down my throat throat through out school.

maybe tighten your structure a little so the rhythm is a little more consistent but other than that you are on your way to a good start.

I've not written in 10 years and am posting here to see if I can get myself back into it, the problem is that the medications I take seem to block that part of the creative process. the emotions that drove my writing are not there as much, this is actually a good thing as they were very negative.

I can say this, you have a good grip on style, keep going with it and read some dedicated poetry sites to see if you can find some hints to where you want to go

Thanks for the critique. As for the medication part, I can relate completely, as my style of poetry is normally dark and negative as well. There's some major emotional blockages, but I think it differs from person to person. Oh and I also empathise about the rhyming, I just like to vary my poems sometimes to avoid monotony.