She lies on the bed *Trigger warning*

She lies on the bed
feeling helpless and lost
her mind is broken and bruised

In agony she wishes
her own mother would die
'cause then she'll have an excuse

An excuse to give up
an excuse to give in
an excuse to get hold of a knife

An excuse to end
this excruciating pain
an excuse to end her life.

____________

A poem I wrote, while being at an open ward. I literally lied on my bed, crying and wishing my mother was dead. Because then I felt like having an excuse to kill myself.

Unio wrote:She lies on the bed
feeling helpless and lost
her mind is broken and bruised

In agony she wishes
her own mother would die
'cause then she'll have an excuse

An excuse to give up
an excuse to give in
an excuse to get hold of a knife

An excuse to end
this excruciating pain
an excuse to end her life.

____________

A poem I wrote, while being at an open ward. I literally lied on my bed, crying and wishing my mother was dead. Because then I felt like having an excuse to kill myself.

I understand that feeling; a little over a year ago my mom was diagnosed with stage 3b colon cancer. My grandpa, the typical "solid rock" of our family, was weakened by anxiety, so I had to take on his role as "the man in charge" in many situations. I held up appearances easily enough to keep everyone else less anxious, but inside I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if she were to die. I had no intentions of killing myself, but I admit that I was hoping that she would die so that I could have an excuse to run away from the life I felt stuck in and get a chance to start anew. She went through chemotherapy and her cancer is in remission now, but I still wonder from time to time whether my life could've turned out better if she had lost her fight.

I hope that you can learn to see things the same way that I saw them, which is to say that life doesn't necessarily take everything away from you, but it gives you a clean slate. If you find yourself in a similar situation later in the future, I hope you'll take the same advice I've given friends who've confided in me when they were feeling suicidal: don't "take your life" by killing yourself, but rather by taking it in a new direction.