I am thinking these things! PLEASE HELP ME!

Hello,
My name is Dustin *edited by admin* I have a disgusting problem . I am ashamed about what I seek help for.
I started to watch porn when I was 8 because I was told it is ok by my older brothers friend, since then I have watched porn and masturbated multiple times a day. Starting so young I believe it is affecting me now that I am older, I cannot just watch normal porn I am seeking dirtier and dirtier things! Within the last month I have had thoughts of the most shameful thing that I have judged people for my whole life. Thinking of little girls it's disgusting and i'm disgusted but I can't get these thoughts out of my head! I am even going as far as to take 3x as many prescription pills than normal so I will not be in the right state of mind and won't have those disgusting thoughts! I am here because I need help, I have a problem that is disgusting and I need major help if anybody knows how I can get these thoghts out of my head without taking drugs please tell me !

*Dustin,I have edited your last name out of your post and user name, because it's against forum rules to use your full name here, for your own safety.

Hi, and welcome to the forum! Don't be ashamed, it's not your fault your were exposed to porn too soon and you're trying to get help. Do you think you could go to your regular doctor and ask how you could see a good psych professional?
Try to stay away from porn, since it triggers these thoughts.

Yeah, same thing happened to me amigo at your age. Luckily I managed to say "hold on, this is wrong and disgusting" and that's that. It's not as uncommon as you'd think though, it's just people don't talk about it.

What I'd suggest is if it isn't already, only have a computer where your family room is and only use it when other people are in the room. If you think you can trust yourself to not look at porn, you can't. Haha, not at your age. Also, as hard as you might find it, tell someone you trust about these thoughts. Believe me, if you talk to the right person they won't judge you. They're not going to try and get you locked away or anything. It's better to nip this in the bud when you're young.

Believe me, the less you look at porn, the more you will stop having such thoughts. Pornography is made for persons aged 18 or over for a reason. You're not mature enough to handle its effects on your mind. Even grown men have become curious about such things after becoming addicted to internet porn.

In my opinion porn is very much like smoking or any other vice, if you can't control it, don't do it. It will only lead to harm.

I'm not sure I agree that he should tell someone stronginthearm. Finding the "right person" is going to be very difficult. Pedophilia is possibly the greatest taboo in this culture, and though I absolutely don't feel that there is anything wrong with you, Dustin, this is simply not something that a person can confess to. A therapist is safe-- but I've had some conservative therapists that were openly shocked about my masochistic fantasies, and were disapproving, shaming, ect.

Dustin-- part of growing into your sexuality is exploring different fantasies, different tastes. I don't think you ever grow out of it, really. I also have a theory that porn tends to encourage novelty seeking... it has for me, at least. But I don't think you have anything to worry about. Many pedophiles report fantasizing about children at a much younger age than you are now. I would guess its the taboo nature of it that excites you, the fact that it's new and deviant. Everything is sexier when someone tells you you're not supposed to do it. These fantasies in particular are something to avoid though. I suggest you move on to the next big new thing.

I'm not sure if viewing pornography at an early age devlops pedophillia. I mean in the days before the internet, the only way for kids to access porn was to find it left on the streets somewhere. My group of friends would sometimes stumble across it in the woods. We'd all gather around and stare at it for a long time. I wasn't actually that interested because I'm not hetro (infact I would always had to feign interest) but they always treat it like gold, they would take it in turns to take it home, but none of them are now interested in little girls (that I know of.) However, I must admit that internet porn is 100 times more hardcore than magazine stuff. Forget about just scaring kids, it can leave bad effects on adults aswell.

I say you should never feel bad about your own thoughts. I keep mine to myself. I think ALL porn is good. Something for everyone.

Well, I think you should get help. Maybe, you should talk to a school counselor or maybe even a counselor outside of school. You definitly should find help though.

Whatever you do do NOT look at child pornography. It is wrong and it supports those who make it, which is essentially supporting child rape.
Your thoughts are yours and what goes on in your head cannot hurt anyone but yourself. However, the fact that you acknowledge that it is wrong and disgusting tells me you have morals and sense and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are smack dab in the middle of puberty and more than likely a dog, a tree or a shoe will turn you on if you look at it the wrong way. You just have a minor porn addiction (if an addiction can be minor). You are not a bad person.

birdbath318 wrote:Whatever you do do NOT look at child pornography. It is wrong and it supports those who make it, which is essentially supporting child rape.
Your thoughts are yours and what goes on in your head cannot hurt anyone but yourself. However, the fact that you acknowledge that it is wrong and disgusting tells me you have morals and sense and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are smack dab in the middle of puberty and more than likely a dog, a tree or a shoe will turn you on if you look at it the wrong way. You just have a minor porn addiction (if an addiction can be minor). You are not a bad person.

No, it doesn't support anybody (economically) just looking at it. You'd have to pay or click ads on the site or something to do that. Also your argument only makes any sense if you restrict CP to actual pictures, not drawings or text.

dustin.m wrote:Hello,
My name is Dustin *edited by admin* I have a disgusting problem . I am ashamed about what I seek help for.
I started to watch porn when I was 8 because I was told it is ok by my older brothers friend, since then I have watched porn and masturbated multiple times a day. Starting so young I believe it is affecting me now that I am older, I cannot just watch normal porn I am seeking dirtier and dirtier things! Within the last month I have had thoughts of the most shameful thing that I have judged people for my whole life. Thinking of little girls it's disgusting and i'm disgusted but I can't get these thoughts out of my head! I am even going as far as to take 3x as many prescription pills than normal so I will not be in the right state of mind and won't have those disgusting thoughts! I am here because I need help, I have a problem that is disgusting and I need major help if anybody knows how I can get these thoghts out of my head without taking drugs please tell me !

*Dustin,I have edited your last name out of your post and user name, because it's against forum rules to use your full name here, for your own safety.

It is not rare to have such thoughts. Most people who get these thoughts, never act on these thoughts. It's a fairly common thing for people to get therapy for. It's common enough that most people don't need to look for a therapist that specializes in this issue, as most therapists are familiar with this issue.

PLEASE DO NOT triple your prescription dose. This can cause really serious health problems. Never change a medication without getting the enthusiastic ok from your doctor. In fact messing around with your medications could actually make your problem worse. Please be sure to discuss any prescription changes with your doc and see a counselor about that problem. It is something that people do master and recover from. Just get help.

You may need medication for this problem. You should be open to that possibility. Some people suffer from impulsivity, which does respond to medication, and is actually a neurological issue.