Blackout attack.

Hello, my name is Tony and I have a problem. December 22 2011 I went to jail for domestic violence and battery both felonies because my 8 month old daughter was there. Here is my story.
My girlfriend and I were at home bored and we decided that maybe we should get something to drink. her and I both know that I am not supposed to be drinking anything strong and def not VODKA. but with the little money we were able to put back for a rainy day I said sure lets buy some vodka we were both in good moods that night and decided to just go for it.
I am starting to ramble right now just trying not to think about that night so sorry and thank you for reading this.
we drank and I blacked out. I only remember the cops takeing me to jail and when i got out of jail this past week i ran into Denise yesterday she told me that she was throwing up and i went to the kitchen when i got back i started punching her in her face. she said it was so random because we were having such good time. I have never hit her out of anger or frustration and i give her respect and love just as a happy couple should. I feel sick to my stomach and havnt ate in days. I am in the process right now on trying to make myself better my first step i have took is that i am seeking professional help. I go to the doctor tomorrow for a referal to see a therapist. I will do what ever it takes to make myself better for the sake of my family. she did nothing wrong to me and neither did that baby. She said she doesnt hate me and she understands what happend that i blacked out and that it was not out of anger. i do not blame her for being with another guy right now. it just kills me that someone else is holding and bonding with my baby and denise.

what else do you feel that i should do to make myself a better person?

Hello and welcome to the forum. I think it is wonderful that you are seeking professional help and are going to start seeing a therapist. That will go a really long way to helping you.

Have you considered maybe giving up drinking if it has this type of effect on you? Is there any other negative coping mechanisms you use to cope like drugs or self harming or anything like that? If there is, perhaps you could consider gradually trying to stop those too.

You could replace negative behaviours with positive things like joining a community sporting team, volunteering to help at a charity shop or other such positive activity. This way you will meet new people who will have a positive outlook on life and who will be able to help you as you gradually seek to change some of your other behaviours.