I've already been reading a lot of topics here and so I ask you all for your opinion on mine..
Me and my ex where together for 5 months after a 3 year intense friendship. 7 months ago he broke up with his ex and we got together pretty fast. I am 24 he's 32
His ex didn't agree and started stalking and bothering us. The post-relation struggles of them weighed on our relationship for sure.
The stalking continued and she pulled some nasty tricks, probably out of pain for the end of their relationship but it got worse.
she emptied his house whilst picking up her stuff (they didnt want to meet anymore so he let her do that when he was on a holliday), called him a milion times a day and night, made him feel guilty for everything, send him pictures of me and my ex (how she got them from my hidden fb-profile no idea) she made him believe his friends where conspiaring against him and so forth and so on.. I supported him through all of this and we tried to make the best out of it. it was an amazing guy and a great relationship.. I was pllanning to give up my appartment that day so I could move in with him.
he's never been agressive with me, I know he had some agresion problems in his previous relationship. but that was from both his ex and him. when we started of I said: If you ever raise a hand at me I'm out and I'm gone (look at me know.. -_-' ) but I said it in a joke never expected it to happen for real..
Now hell broke lose
I had my own house but usually we spend the night togehter, this day I would sleep at my place cause we had different places to go. to avoid his ex from stalking he'd been keeping low profile. telling no one where he was. (except me) he went to the party and drank (a lot). he got message from her: ahh enjoying your party? how your friend like your new girl. I wasn't there at the moment but he fliped.. He thought with his drunk head that I had been conspiering with her against him for all this time and that I was the cause of his misery, since I was the only one who knew he was there..)
he send me a text that he wanted to talk and that he was really angry with me, I thouhg already that he was drunk so said: tomorrow not now. and I went home from my party.
He took his bike and went to my place (20 min bike ride..) , he rang my bell and as I saw him downstairs I opened up, not knowing he was that drunk. he got to my appartment and as the door openend he jumped at me. he pulled my hair, slamed my head in to the stairs of my bed ( I sleep in a high bed) pushed my face in the couch, I couldn't even breath for a while and pushed my neck in angels it couldn't be in. constantly asking : 'how does she know, who did this' he threathend to go get my friends who knew sth about where he was and that he would find them and get them. He was really really drunk and extremely angery, he hit me and tried to kick me, (which didnt work cause he was to drunk). he told me to go to take a shower, I did, wanted to escape but didn't dare to.. when I came back he was lying in my bed without his clothes. he once again got up and pulled my hair back: if you have somehting to do with this I'll come and find you.. no matter where you are. He let me go and lied down in my bed. after some minutes I asked him to leave. he seemed toe be calmed down a bit. he climbed down my bed and made a mess of my apartment searching for his keys. he found them an d he left. immediately after he left I Locked the door. he broke down in the hallway, crying and pleading. I called the cops to scare him to leave the apt and eventually he did..
all of this lasted for an hour and a half more or les..
we talked the next day and I said I never wanted to be with him anymore. He doesn't remember anything of the whole ordeal, just that he broke down in the hallway. I left for my parents place and stayed there over a month.. It was terrible I missed him a lot and was angry for him hurting me like that but also missing him and wanting to go back. I decided not to and keep the breakup as it was. I went back to my own house feeling a little better and confident. of course I ran in to him one week later, head of heals in love again, talking and hooking up. talking about a possible future.. He says he's never gonna do it again, is now in therapy, and working on it, stopped drinking.. I curled up in his arms like nothing ever happend.. I left the next day to my parents again, confused and frustrated. trying to figure out what to do. Am I going back to him or not..
I am lost. I want to go back badly, I am scared of a future without him and he made me soo extremely happy.... but I feel in a way it's not possible..
Am I weak for that I had conversation and love with him again? how do I stay away if I decide to break up, and what should we do to make this relationship work again..? I am soo extremely lost.. I love him to pieces, but by going back I give up so much of myself..
I don't know what to do anymore.. I hope anyone here has some advice which makes my head stop spinning..