Quiet corner of PF

Based on the description, what do you think is this guy's dx, Akuma?

-- Sat Nov 25, 2017 5:05 pm --

Akuma wrote:
Its not bothering me, I just found it interesting, because that was my association. Little girl, bad wolf, audience of over 600 readers. And apparently you want the drama to go on if a message on an answering machine or the bad boy self-harming is enough motivation for you. It certainly wouldnt be for me, it would be motivation to stop it.

I am often surprised by you not understanding that telling emotional addicts of any kind to "get out" is simply not enough, it's not how it works, it's much more complex than that and it's exactly like getting mad at a drug addict for not dropping it. I realize that's the only thing people on forum can do to help, but I don't get the "it irritates me that you won't listen" part.
For me it felt like living in a completely different reality and everything others were saying felt like an echo coming from a distance. I'm being a bit over-dramatic now but I think it accurately captures the state of one's mind.

ElephantEyes wrote:
It doesnt mean I want it. If you are a recovering drug addict and someone is shoving your drug of choice at you insisting you take another hit, would it be easy for you to refuse?

I have recovered from a decade of drug addiction and I've been in the situation quite often and I've always said no. Its not easy at first of course, but you still say no. And then it becomes easy at some point.

Based on the description, what do you think is this guy's dx, Akuma?

Its irrelevant.

I am often surprised by you not understanding that telling emotional addicts of any kind to "get out" is simply not enough, it's not how it works, it's much more complex than that and it's exactly like getting mad at a drug addict for not dropping it. I realize that's the only thing people on forum can do to help, but I don't get the "it irritates me that you won't listen" part.
For me it felt like living in a completely different reality and everything others were saying felt like an echo coming from a distance. I'm being a bit over-dramatic now but I think it accurately captures the state of one's mind.

Well the echos did help you tho didnt they?
I am curious tho, if you think this is an emotion-addiction problem, which emotion would that be?

Akuma my recovery is recent. As I said in OP my last toxic relationship ended about 2 years ago. I decided to abstain entirely from relationships.

This person is doing everything in his power to try to pull me into another one. I keep saying no but its not easy to deal with.

I am going to keep this thread going as long as it lasts and as long as the mods dont lock it.

You sound kind of ragey to me. Like you are taking this personally. May I ask what is happening? What is your motive replying here. Or what are you wanting to achieve?

I am curious because you claim to have no emotions but it seems there is emotion here.

ElephantEyes wrote:Akuma my recovery is recent. As I said in OP my last toxic relationship ended about 2 years ago. I decided to abstain entirely from relationships.

This person is doing everything in his power to try to pull me into another one. I keep saying no but its not easy to deal with.

Well if we stay with the addict scenario then you have been clean but you have relapsed. Then you should - talking symbolically, but maybe there actualyl is something like that - go to your local support group and talk about it and figure out how to let this be a one-time thing.

You sound kind of ragey to me. Like you are taking this personally. May I ask what is happening? What is your motive replying here. Or what are you wanting to achieve?

Where do I sound ragey?

Well the echos did help you tho didnt they?
I am curious tho, if you think this is an emotion-addiction problem, which emotion would that be?

Echoes did help, yours among them as well , but the display of irritation and impatience I'd often misinterpret and it'd leave me feeling isolated.

Drama induced emotions I suppose - anxiety, fear, feeling of uncertainty, of submisiveness, of helplessness.

You sound kind of ragey to me. Like you are taking this personally. May I ask what is happening? What is your motive replying here. Or what are you wanting to achieve?

See, this is exactly what happens, people misinterpret your good intentions and become distrustful.
@EE, I think Akuma is genuinely trying to help here, despite his rough approach.

Akuma wrote:

ElephantEyes wrote:Akuma my recovery is recent. As I said in OP my last toxic relationship ended about 2 years ago. I decided to abstain entirely from relationships.

This person is doing everything in his power to try to pull me into another one. I keep saying no but its not easy to deal with.

Well if we stay with the addict scenario then you have been clean but you have relapsed. Then you should - talking symbolically, but maybe there actualyl is something like that - go to your local support group and talk about it and figure out how to let this be a one-time thing.

You sound kind of ragey to me. Like you are taking this personally. May I ask what is happening? What is your motive replying here. Or what are you wanting to achieve?

Where do I sound ragey?

This forum is my support group. I live in a rural area, very remote.

You sound ragey because of your choice of some harsh sounding words and phrases rather than more neutral choices. Maybe its a translation issue.

shanzeek wrote:

Well the echos did help you tho didnt they?
I am curious tho, if you think this is an emotion-addiction problem, which emotion would that be?

Echoes did help, yours among them as well , but the display of irritation and impatience I'd often misinterpret and it'd leave me feeling isolated.

Drama induced emotions I suppose - anxiety, fear, feeling of uncertainty, of submisiveness, of helplessness.

You sound kind of ragey to me. Like you are taking this personally. May I ask what is happening? What is your motive replying here. Or what are you wanting to achieve?

See, this is exactly what happens, people misinterpret your good intentions and become distrustful.
@EE, I think Akuma is genuinely trying to help here, despite his rough approach.

If hes helping that is fine of course. I want the help.

EE,

Is it possible after 2 years' swearing off tumultous relationships for most of your life, you felt you were in a dead calm (maybe bored?) when this guy came into your life online with his drama?

Edit: I know this seems simplistic, but that's the thought that jumped out at me after catching up with this thread. It may be emotion/drama that you're intrinsically (and unwillingly) drawn to and it's possible that drama was a huge part of what you grew up with.

realityhere wrote:EE,

Is it possible after 2 years' swearing off tumultous relationships for most of your life, you felt you were in a dead calm (maybe bored?) when this guy came into your life online with his drama?

I want to say yes and no.

No because I was truly content those years. No emotional upheaval...I was ecstatic.

Yes because I recently moved.....its a change and change comes with stress even if its a good change.

He was pursuing me months back. Only after I moved I started to succumb to it. Boredom? I would not say that, but something. I welcome boredom. Security, maybe.

In the past I would have got a kitten or puppy in this scenario. That is what I used to do but I discovered I am not a good pet parent. I lose interest after the novelty terrible as that is and my apologies and accolades to good pet parents reading.

But to my benefit I agreed I cant have pets, kids, or spouses, because my initial surge of warmth, sympathy, compassion, and nurturing has no lasting power. Strong as it may be at first and it is strong, and feels good.

But it cant last and now I know that and I warned Romeo. He wont hear it though. I did the responsible thing. He thinks he can overcome it and I dont know what else I can do.

I asked him what our D is ney love story is and he said B eut y and the B ea st. Seems pretty accurate.

^ I disagree. Its flattery and flattery corrupts.

Flattery being the B eaut y and the B ea st love story answer?

You got that right, the flattery part I mean. But you were the one who brought up the question of what kind of D is ney love story is this, when you really should not have brought it up in the first place.

That kind of question is catnip to a Borderline.