Quiet corner of PF

McWilliams, Psychoanalytic Diagnostic, Various Places wrote:They act out in counterphobic ways, usually related to preoccupations with the fantasied power and danger of the opposite sex. (...)
The most pressing internal characteristic of the hysterical style is anxiety.
Because hysterically structured people have a surfeit of unconscious anxiety, guilt, and shame, and because they may be temperamentally intense and subject to overstimulation, they are easily overwhelmed. Experiences that are manageable for others may be traumatic to hysterical people. Consequently, they may use dissociative mechanisms to reduce the amount of affectively charged information that they must deal with all at once. Examples include the phenomenon (...) labeled la belle indifférence, a strange minimization of the gravity of a situation or symptom (...) There is considerable overlap between hysterical and dissociative personality structures(...).
One of my patients, a highly successful professional woman in her 60s who had devoted a large portion of her career to educating people about safe sex, found herself during a conference going to bed with a man to whom she was not particularly attracted (“He wanted it, and somehow that felt like the final word”). It did not occur to her to ask him to use a condom. She dissociated both her capacity to say no and her awareness of the negative consequences of unprotected sex. The sources of her dissociation included a seductive, narcissistic father and unremitting childhood messages to the effect that the needs of the other person always come first.

Akuma wrote:Well it is very weird from the outside.
You cant be under the spell of someone you dont even know persnally - someone who doesnt even live close by can hardly have power over you, so basically youre under the spell mostly of your own mind. Secondly you sharing here of all places, is of course not for you, but for us. If it was for you you would write this into your diary or into your MS Word or whatever, but you share it here. So theres both an aspect of exhibitionism and an aspect of a distress call.
My first impression was a bit more hardcore than Eights, it was like "Oh great Miss I-Dont-Have-A-PD had her first contact with cock and now she went insane." My second impression was "Wow, this is kinda cool, this resonates heavily with the HPD description in that book by McWilliams that I have".
Here's some snippets I found pretty eye-catching ->

McWilliams, Psychoanalytic Diagnostic, Various Places wrote:They act out in counterphobic ways, usually related to preoccupations with the fantasied power and danger of the opposite sex. (...)
The most pressing internal characteristic of the hysterical style is anxiety.
Because hysterically structured people have a surfeit of unconscious anxiety, guilt, and shame, and because they may be temperamentally intense and subject to overstimulation, they are easily overwhelmed. Experiences that are manageable for others may be traumatic to hysterical people. Consequently, they may use dissociative mechanisms to reduce the amount of affectively charged information that they must deal with all at once. Examples include the phenomenon (...) labeled la belle indifférence, a strange minimization of the gravity of a situation or symptom (...) There is considerable overlap between hysterical and dissociative personality structures(...).
One of my patients, a highly successful professional woman in her 60s who had devoted a large portion of her career to educating people about safe sex, found herself during a conference going to bed with a man to whom she was not particularly attracted (“He wanted it, and somehow that felt like the final word”). It did not occur to her to ask him to use a condom. She dissociated both her capacity to say no and her awareness of the negative consequences of unprotected sex. The sources of her dissociation included a seductive, narcissistic father and unremitting childhood messages to the effect that the needs of the other person always come first.

Maybe when you are so normal and Non-PD'd this is a good time of taking your eyes of that exciting, bad object and looking at why you get magnetized so much. Maybe theres a simple reason for it somewhere else in your life at this point.

ElephantEyes wrote:Seductive narcissistic father sounds right. I had one.

This man is kind of fatherish. He is older and has two grown children. He speaks to me authoritatively. Its like I revert to childhood and feel I must obey.

shanzeek wrote:

ElephantEyes wrote:Seductive narcissistic father sounds right. I had one.

This man is kind of fatherish. He is older and has two grown children. He speaks to me authoritatively. Its like I revert to childhood and feel I must obey.

This happened to me as well, it felt like living on foggy auto-pilot and responding as a 5-year-old, I have troubles rationalizing some of my behaviour from that period, it just doesn't make any sense.
So I won't judge. I think it's good that you're writing it all down somewhere. I'm not sure what else to write. Are you able to observe this whole thing with an emotional distance, as if it's not happening to you? That might help. Is there a boundary that if he would to cross, would make you cut him off?

Its a frightening and suffocating situation to be in.

Akuma wrote:

Its a frightening and suffocating situation to be in.

How can it be frightenign and suffocating if he isnt even around. Just stop talkign with him and thats the end. Figure out why you create this drama in the first plae. Its like a cheap horror movie, little scared girl, evil bad felon man with guns, and all of us, we're the crowd who has to watch this thing. If you can orchestrate this, then where exactly are you powerless?

ElephantEyes wrote:You dont have to read it. I am posting in the most unviewed part of the PD forum. You can put me on your ignore list if its bothering you.

Last time I ignored him he told me he was going to my parents house. He even called there and left a message. He also threatens self harm when I ignore him or tells me what he is doing to himself.

Akuma wrote:

ElephantEyes wrote:You dont have to read it. I am posting in the most unviewed part of the PD forum. You can put me on your ignore list if its bothering you.

Last time I ignored him he told me he was going to my parents house. He even called there and left a message. He also threatens self harm when I ignore him or tells me what he is doing to himself.

Its not bothering me, I just found it interesting, because that was my association. Little girl, bad wolf, audience of over 600 readers. And apparently you want the drama to go on if a message on an answering machine or the bad boy self-harming is enough motivation for you. It certainly wouldnt be for me, it would be motivation to stop it.