What to do with parents

[Cashdog777]

Forgive me if this is in the wrong section.
I am really at a lost what to do with my parents. A little
Background info they may help. My dad is a perpetual 5 year old and doesn't see my mother as his wife rather an image of his own mom. Growing up I had to continuously compete with him for attention because he would create drama so it would be focused on him he also is emotionally abusive. He lies and manipulates. I have stopped tZalkIng to him and I want nothing to do with him. My mom is at stay at home mom who used to have a career at a college. She also I feels manipulates but by guilt tripping. It's all about her feelings And she's right about everything. I wasn't paticulary. Close to her but saw her more as a refuge from my dad when I was younger. I came to agree with her All the time because I hated her angry. It was hell for everyone. Now that I am adult I see the trends and don't agree with her choices. I recently left for the army and have been paying for all my stuff. Like my dogs even thou she takes care of them and my car (even though it's in her name) long story short I set home on leave And wasn't super excited about since I hate being that enviroment. After I drove 1000 miles to my duty station my mom fb me about how I was basically ungrAteful and how she didn't need to do the things she does and that she hates having my dogs. Guilt tripping me with every paragraph, then she tells me she wants to know how I feel. I don't tell her because I don't feel she really listens its all about her feelings and if I argue with her I'm never right or she blows it off. Then she tells me how much she loves me at the same time. It makes me crazy, depressed And I can't think straight. I have tried telling her but it was useless she's obviously forgotten. I though about seeing. Therapist because I have a lot of feelings that I can't describe and it makes me feel like something's wrong with me. But then I think it's all in my head. I'm just sick of these mind games, I thought maybe I'll tell her the truth on e more even though I may get burned. I don't know what to think. Any advice?

[Ada]

I think a therapist would be a good idea, because parents are there for life, so if it's at all possible to straighten out the relationship, it has long term benefit. It's no different to seeing a dentist or getting in a plumber. If things aren't working out in your life, we look for a way to fix that, and therapy can be a really helpful way to do that when things are "all in the mind". That doesn't make them any less real or painful.

I'm not sure that opening up to your mom would help right now, if she's angry or guilt-tripping you then she's probably in a muddle herself and not able to give you a fair hearing. So it might make things worse.

Is there anywhere else your dogs could live when you're not there? Do you have any friends who might consider boarding them for you [especially since you're paying costs.] I agree with you that becoming independent is helpful here, it means you can choose when and how you interact with them, rather than having to rely on them for anything.