becoming my mother

[withoutwax]

My mother was abusive. She had untreated BPD, depression, religiosity, and probably some schitzophrenic symptoms. She yelled all the time. She hit us. She berated us. Then she cried because she was 'such a bad mom' and we felt guilty for being angry with her.

I am not my mom. I know this. But I see so much of her in me sometimes. I lose it so much! I scream and yell. I don't hit but I spank more than I'd like and I'm afraid of it becoming more.

My boyfriend's encouragement is: at least your aren't your sister.

that's not much of encouragement.

I don't want advice so much as I want to not feel like the only mother who loses it sometimes. This doesn't make me a bad mom! Right?

[Tempest88]

I lose it so much! I scream and yell. I don't hit but I spank more than I'd like and I'm afraid of it becoming more.

Are you spanking out of anger/frustration and/or a loss of control? If you are, it's something you should seek out help for.

This doesn't make me a bad mom! Right?

No one here can answer that honestly. We don't know the exact situation. Do you think you're a bad mom? Have you sat down and talked to your kid(s) about how they feel about how you handle/react to certain situations.

That's what I started doing with my Children. Their feedback helps.

[withoutwax]

I lose it so much! I scream and yell. I don't hit but I spank more than I'd like and I'm afraid of it becoming more.

Are you spanking out of anger/frustration and/or a loss of control? If you are, it's something you should seek out help for.

I know the help I need... support from others who struggle. That's why I am here. I don't want 'professional' help for a lot of reasons. One of them is, as a professional, I know what they are going to say.

My daughter is in counseling and the therapist always meets with both of us for a half hour at the beginning. That helps.

Mostly, I just need another outlet (hopefully here) so I stop taking my frustrations out on others.

This doesn't make me a bad mom! Right?

No one here can answer that honestly. We don't know the exact situation. Do you think you're a bad mom? Have you sat down and talked to your kid(s) about how they feel about how you handle/react to certain situations.

That's what I started doing with my Children. Their feedback helps.

She and I talk regularly about how our behavior affects the other person. I tell her how it hurts me when she does some things and give her a chance to say how I've hurt her. I always apologize too.

I'm not asking if I'm a bad mom. I'm asking if others feel the need for reassurance. I'm asking if others feel like they "lose it" sometimes.

My sister in law is actually a great support and tells me I'm a great mom. So does my boyfriend. But this illness is too big to leave just on them. that's why I'm here...