Overly sensitive whiny child

[Tempest88]

I have two daughters who are 9 years old and 7 years old. My 9 year old has Aspergers and my 7 year old is 'normal' but... I'm thinking she's not.

My 7 year old is overly emotional, sensitive and fearful. This has only been escalating as she gets older to the point you have to walk on eggshells when talking to her... she takes everything personally and as an insult and attack onto her, she'll break down crying and say her feelings her hurt... an example.. she does something funny and I laugh and say "You're so silly" it's meant in a positive way... she's cry and say "I'm not silly, you hurt my feelings". When doing her hair my mom said to her "Hold still or your braid will be crooked" my 7 year old broke right now and cried for 10 minutes and said "That hurt my feelings".

This kid is too scared to sleep in her own bed, some nights I can't even get her to lay down in bed because she says she's too scared, she'll just sit in bed and cry. She's often saying out of the blue "I feel like I need to cry".

She has empathy galore and will break down crying if she sees anyone else hurt or upset. I can't relate to this kid at all, I can't begin to imagine what's wrong, what she's going through or how to react to it. She's the complete opposite of me, I can't even stand crying or emotional people.

I don't care for labeling her but could this be early indicators of a Personality Disorder? Or some other mental illness?

She's been this way since she was a baby, as a baby she'd freak and cry if anyone else so much as looked at her. I'm the only would who could touch her, hold her, feed her or look at her.

She was evaluated by the infant development team and was involved with them from 18 months old until she was 3.. because I had concerns she could have Aspergers like her sister, but she definitely doesn't. She has no medical problems or learning disabilities either, no social challenges, she has lots of friends and does well at school. I don't see a reason for this.

[Black Widow]

Sounds like Avoidant.
Of course it is too early to tell.

[Tempest88]

Lovely.

Odd thing is, she hides all this at school... never melts down. Some days she comes home and tells me her feelings got hurt (it's usually stupid things).

I wonder if it could be a combination of her having an older Aspie sister (2 years older then her) and me (AsPD). Her sister has always melted down and thrown fits, I wonder if my 7 year old is learning this behavior. That still wouldn't explain the being overly sensitive... unless I caused that from constantly being overly insensitive.

Maybe a mixture... she could be predisposed of some sort of PD and her environment is bringing it out, she's not abused but it still can't be easy for her.

[Black Widow]

Usually, I would say it is through contact with a borderline.
Avoidants always hide their feelings in public. But they take everything personally, even those things that do not relate to them.

[Tempest88]

That sounds much like her.

No borderlines around though... other then my borderline and bi polar ex.

[Black Widow]

Maybe she learned from him, how to control him and stuff.
She probably did not learn that "hurt my feelings" catch phrase from you.

[Tempest88]

She probably did not learn that "hurt my feelings" catch phrase from you.

Well... funny story.... lol

When she was a toddler, keep in mind she was already hugely empathetic then.

When she wouldn't eat her veggies, healthy food, agree to a bath. I'd fake cry and say that made me sad and hurt my feelings. She'd get upset and eat her food or whatever to make me feel better.

[Black Widow]

My mother was always trying to hide beets under the potatoes.
It never worked.

[Tempest88]

My mother was always trying to hide beets under the potatoes.

Gross

Nothing worked for me, when they weren't looking I'd pocket whatever was on my plate that I didn't like, after dinner I'd go to the washroom to wash up and I'd flush it.

My sister is not very bright though, she'd outright refuse to eat meat when she was a toddler so my dad would mix it into her desert... she'd not notice As she got older she'd have to sit at the table until she finished, but my parents wouldn't sit... so my sister would dump her plate into the bathroom sink You should... because they wouldn't find it there.

[Black Widow]

I wonder why parents insists on giving bad food.
Maybe she took the pattern from you then.
Still, it would not make total sense, because she could not control you with it. Or maybe she can, I don't know.