Abuse or is it just me?

[WWart121]

A very close friend of mine brought her 1 1/2 year old son with her to come visit me for drinks one night and I noticed he was really chubby for being 1 1/2 in fact he looked like he was a three year old almost 4..friends I had over also were astonished at his size...throughout the night I noticed him coming up to her crying and eating anything he could see...my daughter who's a picky eater left about 4 chicken strips from a meal earlier that day and he somehow found them and ripped opened a buttermilk dipping sauce and ate all of them...then was crying for donuts he saw on my counter top and proceeded to eat not 1 not 2 not 3 but 4 donuts and dipped them in the ranch sauce as well I was almost disturbed that this friend of mine just watched and said whatever will make him stop bugging. Another time I was with her running some errands and she had casually mentioned he was throwing up all night because he ate a whole package of deli ham and 3 oranges and I told her why did he eat so much and she just said he would cry if she wouldn't let him....this is starting to bug me because I know this is wrong any advice on what I should do?

[Entangled]

[quote="WWart121"]A very close friend of mine brought her 1 1/2 year old son with her to come visit me for drinks one night and I noticed he was really chubby for being 1 1/2 in fact he looked like he was a three year old almost 4..friends I had over also were astonished at his size...throughout the night I noticed him coming up to her crying and eating anything he could see...my daughter who's a picky eater left about 4 chicken strips from a meal earlier that day and he somehow found them and ripped opened a buttermilk dipping sauce and ate all of them...then was crying for donuts he saw on my counter top and proceeded to eat not 1 not 2 not 3 but 4 donuts and dipped them in the ranch sauce as well I was almost disturbed that this friend of mine just watched and said whatever will make him stop bugging. Another time I was with her running some errands and she had casually mentioned he was throwing up all night because he ate a whole package of deli ham and 3 oranges and I told her why did he eat so much and she just said he would cry if she wouldn't let him....this is starting to bug me because I know this is wrong any advice on what I should do?[/quote]

It's really hard to tell in this case if there is any psycholiogical abuse. He might be a healthy eater and had a stomach ache and threw up. But, on the other hand, children who are abused show behavior in different ways. That could be one of them.

I guess an approach could go like this. SInce you are real close, ask the mother when this child last had a physical. See if it's possible that she'll consent to one. Get a physical medical oppinion. If the doctor seems concerned, but finds no physical reason, then a child psychiatrist would be best.

Either psych or physical... it's best to give children physicals, even above and beyond the call of duty.

[WWart121]

[/quote]

It's really hard to tell in this case if there is any psycholiogical abuse. He might be a healthy eater and had a stomach ache and threw up. But, on the other hand, children who are abused show behavior in different ways. That could be one of them.

I guess an approach could go like this. SInce you are real close, ask the mother when this child last had a physical. See if it's possible that she'll consent to one. Get a physical medical oppinion. If the doctor seems concerned, but finds no physical reason, then a child psychiatrist would be best.

Either psych or physical... it's best to give children physicals, even above and beyond the call of duty.[/quote]


I forgot to mention she did talk about him visiting the doctor and how she was offended that the doctor did indeed tell her he was way bigger than he's supposed to be that it could be a health risk and that she should put him on a diet where only healthy and organic foods are involved...but instead of taking it seriously she laughed it off...I think putting him on a diet like that is going to be really hard because he really does thrown himself and scream when he can't eat I feel really bad for him

[Entangled]

Laughed at the doctor?

I'm sorry. Laughing at a doctor about your own child? I think she whould get a second opinion.

When I was 2 or 3 years old, my parents took me to a psychologist because I had a ritual. "He'll grow out of it. Give him things to do." It was the warning signs of OCD and if caught in time could have helped me greatly.

So, she took him to the doctor... diet was prescribed. She laughed... not your child, but your this woman's closest friend. It's difficult. A Doctor or Moderator who know more about this should be coming up.

The only thing that comes to my mind is a situation where a very young child that age is hardly held or given affection. The parents try there best to keep the child calm and look for things that could do this. Giving food to a child would do that and create a substitute for affection.... those are just thoughts... not concrete answers...