On having a child

[crystalr0w3]

Hello everyone, it's nice to get to know people because you will learn something on every interaction with them on almost anything. I'm just newly married and I'm so excited to have our first lovechild and I want to prepare for it's arrival in our life. I'm glad to be on
this topic because I know this group can help me regarding parenting.

[Butterfly Faerie]

Hi, I'm currently 2 months pregnant, I had a miscarriage this past May so after that and we started trying again I made sure I was pretty healthy. I also got on Folic Acid for a few months before hand. (I started taking that and a multi vitamin back in May when I was pregnant briefly and continued with it) also the best multivitamin they say to take prior to becoming pregnant is taking Materna or another pre natal vitamin, you're also suppose to take the materna throughout your pregnancy and breast-feeding if that is what you are going to do.

Also, if you are on any medications find out what is safe. There's been a recent study on Prozac that is extremely dangerous to an unborn baby, so if you happen to be on this drug get off it or switch it to one that is safe to be on. I'm on Effexor XR and I was worried about it causing harm, but I called MotherRisk ( a great site and phone numbers under the forum pregnancy that tells you stuff that is safe and unsafe during pregnancy, medications, paints, drugs, alcohol abuse etc) Effexor I was told by them is fine, even with breastfeeding so that made me less stressed.

Also even make an appointment with your doctor and discuss things about what you can do prior to becoming pregnant as well, any changes you may have to do, or maybe they'd like to do some blood work, take your weight etc.

[Butterfly Faerie]

Sorry Prozac wasn't the drug it was Paxil.

[crystalr0w3]

Hi Butterfly Faerie, thank you for the information but right now I'm not yet pregnant but I'm hoping to have a child and I want to be ready when I got pregnant. and I want to gather some tips.

[nd77]

Hi girls. My first child was a "pleasant surprise". Unfortunately the consensus was that this pregnancy was the trigger to my Bipolar uprising! It was never mentioned though. When she was born I had post natal depression but undiagnosed and wasn't bought up(all hindsight). Then my second pregnancy I was diagnosed with antenatal depression and put on zoloft. Then a year after he was born I had a breakdown and diagnosed with Bipolar II, which was probably what it was all along.
What I'm trying to say is, if you know your diagnosis already get to know it even better because the nine months can play havoc an your body and hormones are flying. I didn't know so when I was diagnosed I had the kids already and it was extremely hard to deal with, looking after myself and two children, even with a supportive husband. It still is. I really don't want to sound negative just please know everything and have a plan if something does go wrong.
A bit more advice. Have a date in mind to stop work. If money is not an issue stop early on. Read books. See movies. Go out with friends. Get as much social time as possible. Don't read too many parenting magazines because they are all about the supermums and the mum you should be. It is a fantasy.
Please be realistic. It is not all beautiful. There is vomit. Squirty poo. Screaming. Unwashed hair. And there is nothing wrong with a bottle for babies if you just cannot breastfeed. It is hard and needs to be taught.
Above all DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY! Mums are hard enough on themselves as it is let alone someone else making us feel bad. And also, surround yourself with mums who tell it like it is. Not ones that pretend that everything is like a magazine and all peachy.
Now, I am going to take my big butt home and try and take heed of my own advice.
All the best and I am so going to be watching how you are going and cheering for you on the sidelines - if that is ok?

[Ravine]

HI crystalrow,

I wish you all the best for your pregnancy preparation. I am sure you will become good mother. By the way, i wish you, you get your first child with normal delivery.

After all, it is first choice to get children after marriage. Very nice thing it is.

GOOD LUCK.

[Butterfly Faerie]

Hi Butterfly Faerie, thank you for the information but right now I'm not yet pregnant but I'm hoping to have a child and I want to be ready when I got pregnant. and I want to gather some tips.

You can get pre-natal stuff done with your doctor prior to pregnancy, discuss with with your doctor ways to prepare yourself health wise.. things you can do to help your baby stay healthier when the time comes that you do become pregnant. Prenatal vitamins and folic acid are so very important, and taken prior to you even conceiving.

Also discussing it with your partner, financially can it be done etc.

But most importantly is prepping the body.
I did that with this pregnancy, and all my blood work etc came back great, can't hurt to get the body ready for when the time comes that you and your partner want to try for a little peanut.

Also, what I found helpful prior to this second pregnancy was picking up pregnancy books and reading it prior. Even the part about high risk pregnancy etc, it was better for me to read that and get it out of the way, and when I did become preggers again I would just look back if I had a question....


nd77 my first pregnancy was and it wasn't, this one was planned and happened pretty quickly again after the miscarriage. I'm surprised anxiety wise that i'm not freaking out 24/7... I Was with the first because It was a wow thing and scared me, this time around was / has been more chill.

What is antenatal depression? I've never heard of that before....

I don't feel negative with what you're posting nd77, everyone experience's it differently... right now I feel great other then then nausea, maybe I should be posting this in the other forum SO I don't take over her thread by accident.

As for baby poos etc I'm not going into this with no knowledge, i've done it all minus the breast feeding. So at least I know how to deal with the majority of it lol..

[crystalr0w3]

Thank you for that nd77. Yeah.. you are just being realistic but tips from magazines were taken from real experiences that was printed to inform inorder to help others.

yeah...thank you Ravine. I hope so. That's why I want to prepare everything for me to have a pleasant pregnancy as well as to have good ideas on how to be a good parent.

Butterfly Faerie, that's a good advice coming from you. Thank you.

[nd77]

Butterfly Faerie, I am so pleased withhow you are going. I am truly sorry if I sounded horrible. Antenatal depression is depression throughout the pregnancy. Apparantly they are finding a lot of women who have post natal depression were actually depressed during pregnancy and it was only diagnosed as "a surge of hormones". The thing is if it is diagnosed properly during pregnancy then the risk of PND is dramatically reduced. And the child is not directly involved etc. Please take care of yourself - I'm sure you will. I get a bit emotional over this topic I'm sorry. My natural reaction is to protect new mums.

[Butterfly Faerie]

Butterfly Faerie, that's a good advice coming from you. Thank you.

I only know because i've done it all recently lol.. but I'm glad that you found it helpful ..

Butterfly Faerie, I am so pleased withhow you are going. I am truly sorry if I sounded horrible. Antenatal depression is depression throughout the pregnancy. Apparantly they are finding a lot of women who have post natal depression were actually depressed during pregnancy and it was only diagnosed as "a surge of hormones". The thing is if it is diagnosed properly during pregnancy then the risk of PND is dramatically reduced. And the child is not directly involved etc. Please take care of yourself - I'm sure you will. I get a bit emotional over this topic I'm sorry. My natural reaction is to protect new mums.

I didn't think you sounded horrible at all, I think you were sharing what you dealt with through your pregnancy. You are right you cannot believe everything you read, that is why it's always best to consult with your doctor or even a free phone number you can call when in doubt or concerned about something like here we can call up telehealth and have any concerns and they'll answer it.

I'm glad I'm not dealing this depression during pregnancy bit. I'm depressed as it is with clinical and seasonal depression, but I've been doing good, minus the nausea etc...

I think it's ok that you feel emotional towards topics like this, and it's understandable how you would feel protective... I've posted a bit in Women's Health in the pregnancy forum.

Take care girls.