Confused and looking back at childhood incidents

[incognito008]

I have recently started to look at my life to try to see why I made some of the questionable decisions that I made during my teens and early twenties. I have come to the conclusion that I was possibly 'lost' due to very tight parental controls whrn I was younger. Just to explain, I'm not blaming my parents for my actions or saying that they did anything wrong, I'm sure thry thought they were acting in my best interests but I'm just trying to see whether these actions and how I reacted to them might be related to the problem s that I had and to some extent still have now.

There were a few incidents that made me angry at my parents and generally angry at the world and I don't know whether it was me being a silly hormonal teenager or whether it could have actually contributed to my depression now.

- I self harmed from the ages of 12-15. My parents found out when I was 15 (from the scars) and dragged me to the emergency doctors saying I woyld probably be sectioned. The doctor referred me to a counsellor buy my parents said that I didn't need to go and never spoke of it again. Wad this a strange reaction?
- when I was around 13 my mum insisted that my dad wash my hair and wash my body with some medicated cream while I was undressed in the bath. This happened a few times a week for a few weeks and I remember crying the whole time. Was this strange, couldn't my mum have done it or couldn't I have done it myself?
- when I was at university I was on antidepressants, I told my mum but she never mentioned it again, even when my sister recently went through depression herself and could possibly have done with an understanding ear.
- my parents always seem to tease and belittle me - my dad saying 'look at her stupid big bag' to another family member while I am in the room or 'I don't know why she has these stupid idwas about being a vegetarian'.
- my mum likes to tell me how to parent my own child snd when I ask her to let me get on with it she just says 'that's what mum's do'
- I get really nervous and clumsy whenever there is a family event.

Am I being over sensitive now and was I being over sensitive as a teenager? I just keep thinking about it but can't get any perspective

[Cate68]

DISCLAIMER: ALWAYS GET AN OPINION OR DIAGNOSIS FROM A REAL MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL.

But..........

It sounds like your parents might have been a bit codependent. They might not have meant to tease, but it hurt you and it might be good to discuss that with a counselor.

Also, a psychiatrist might help if you feel depressed. I don' t know.

Have you seen the tv show "Monk?" Do they show that over in Britain? It is about a guy who is very smart who is OCD.

Dunno. Check with the National Health Service and see if there is an MH center near you.

Childhood issues can follow us around our entire lives if we don't address them. It is okay to be angry at your parents and get rid of that anger if you have it.

You might have to learn some assertiveness skills with your parents and relatives. I have problems with other people trying to tell me how to parent my own son.

And another note: The children normally will develop well on their own and so if you have a late bloomer, that is okay. People used to worry me about how my kid hadn't ridden a bike yet or tied his shoe or read non-children's books, and guess what? He's doing all of that this year. He might be nine, but he did it.

Now of course, this isn't to suggest that if milestones aren't being met in a reasonable period they shouldn't be addressed, but the point is............

Don' t let anyone tell you how to raise your child.